1
00:02:02,888 --> 00:02:04,947
<i>My name is Irwin Fletcher.</i>

2
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:07,492
<i>I'm an investigative reporter
for a Los Angeles paper.</i>

3
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,825
<i>You've probably read my stuff
under the byline of Jane Doe.</i>

4
00:02:10,896 --> 00:02:12,989
<i>What the hey,
it's better than Irwin.</i>

5
00:02:13,065 --> 00:02:16,057
<i>The last three weeks,
I've been loitering around the beach</i>

6
00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:19,434
<i>trying to pass for an
amiable minor league junkie.</i>

7
00:02:19,505 --> 00:02:21,803
<i>I don't nod out or drool,
that's too obvious.</i>

8
00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:24,434
<i>Act like you don't give a crap
and you fit right in.</i>

9
00:02:24,577 --> 00:02:25,566
<font color="

10
00:02:25,744 --> 00:02:27,735
Business has really
picked up, huh?

11
00:02:27,813 --> 00:02:29,405
I'm still closed.

12
00:02:29,481 --> 00:02:31,176
What is it,
a Colombian national holiday?

13
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:32,816
Yeah.

14
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:37,752
So what do you figure, Sam?

15
00:02:38,557 --> 00:02:39,717
No idea.

16
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:41,191
No idea at all?

17
00:02:41,260 --> 00:02:42,591
Some idea.

18
00:02:42,828 --> 00:02:44,125
Like when?

19
00:02:44,196 --> 00:02:45,857
When it comes, it comes.

20
00:02:47,199 --> 00:02:48,530
I got some reds.

21
00:02:49,535 --> 00:02:51,901
You don't mean communists,
do you, Sam?

22
00:02:52,071 --> 00:02:53,470
Is everything a joke
to you, Fletch?

23
00:02:53,539 --> 00:02:56,030
Everything, Sam.

24
00:02:57,676 --> 00:02:58,802
Hey, Gummy!

25
00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:00,435
Hey, Fletch.
Hey, Sam.

26
00:03:00,512 --> 00:03:02,139
How's the eye?

27
00:03:02,214 --> 00:03:04,239
Guess it's okay.
The cops did it.

28
00:03:04,316 --> 00:03:06,216
They always beating up on me.

29
00:03:25,938 --> 00:03:27,405
He doesn't know.

30
00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:28,701
Son of a bitch!

31
00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:32,168
That's what he said.

32
00:03:32,578 --> 00:03:33,806
He doesn't know?

33
00:03:33,946 --> 00:03:35,243
How come he doesn't know?

34
00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:38,246
I don't know how come he doesn't know.
He just doesn't know.

35
00:03:38,317 --> 00:03:39,875
Son of a bitch!

36
00:03:41,987 --> 00:03:43,477
I wonder how he gets the stuff.

37
00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:45,147
I have no idea.

38
00:03:45,624 --> 00:03:47,524
Never leaves the beach,
that Sam.

39
00:03:47,693 --> 00:03:48,682
Never leaves.

40
00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,087
He sits in that chair.
He's out of shit.

41
00:03:51,163 --> 00:03:53,290
Suddenly he gets up,
he's got shit.

42
00:03:54,066 --> 00:03:56,864
So where's it coming from?
The sand?

43
00:03:57,803 --> 00:03:59,771
I think that's
highly unlikely, Crease.

44
00:04:01,273 --> 00:04:03,434
I ought to get some sleep.

45
00:04:07,079 --> 00:04:08,376
Crease, how old are you?

46
00:04:08,847 --> 00:04:10,439
Nineteen.

47
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,378
You're not taking
very good care of yourself.

48
00:04:22,361 --> 00:04:23,885
<i>FLETCH: In case you
haven't guessed yet,</i>

49
00:04:23,962 --> 00:04:26,260
<i>there's been a lot
of drug traffic on the beach.</i>

50
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,664
<i>And I'm not talking about
Robitussin and No Doz.</i>

51
00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:30,668
<i>I'm talking about
the hard stuff.</i>

52
00:04:31,036 --> 00:04:32,025
<i>And a lot of it.</i>

53
00:04:33,305 --> 00:04:35,830
<i>I've been trying to find out
who's behind it.</i>

54
00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,933
<i>It hasn't been easy.</i>

55
00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:39,500
<i>I don't shower much.</i>

56
00:04:49,855 --> 00:04:51,049
Excuse me.
Yeah.

57
00:04:51,123 --> 00:04:52,647
I have something I'd
like to discuss with you.

58
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:53,783
What's that?

59
00:04:53,859 --> 00:04:55,417
We can't talk about it here.

60
00:04:55,861 --> 00:04:57,556
Why not?

61
00:04:57,629 --> 00:04:58,926
Because we can't.

62
00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:03,033
Are you on a scavenger hunt,
or did I just forget to pay my dinner check?

63
00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:04,262
I mean,
I'd be happy to pay it...

64
00:05:04,336 --> 00:05:06,634
I want you to come to my
house and then we'll talk.

65
00:05:06,705 --> 00:05:08,172
You got the wrong gal, fella.

66
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,174
I'll give you $1,000 cash.

67
00:05:12,177 --> 00:05:13,166
What?

68
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:17,114
Just come to my house
and listen to the proposition.

69
00:05:20,185 --> 00:05:23,052
If you reject the proposition,
you keep the $1,000,

70
00:05:23,689 --> 00:05:25,179
and your mouth shut.

71
00:05:29,361 --> 00:05:32,762
Does this proposition entail my
dressing up as Little Bo Peep?

72
00:05:33,732 --> 00:05:35,495
It's nothing of a sexual
nature, I assure you.

73
00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:36,966
Yeah, I assure you.

74
00:05:37,035 --> 00:05:38,730
$1,000 just to listen?

75
00:05:39,705 --> 00:05:42,105
I don't see how you
can pass that up, Mr...

76
00:05:42,307 --> 00:05:44,104
Nugent. Ted Nugent.

77
00:05:46,278 --> 00:05:47,677
Alan Stanwyk.

78
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,904
Alan, charmed.

79
00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:54,279
For an extra grand,
I'll let you take me out to dinner.

80
00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:18,368
What a coincidence.

81
00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:19,570
What?

82
00:06:20,679 --> 00:06:23,045
I came this close
to buying this place.

83
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:25,282
Then I found out Hopalong
Cassidy killed himself here.

84
00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:26,374
Blew it for me.

85
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:27,441
Who?

86
00:06:27,519 --> 00:06:28,543
Hopalong Cassidy.

87
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,383
Bow and arrow.
Very weird.

88
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:33,892
What? Are you doped up now?

89
00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:36,826
Don't talk to me like that, ass face.
I don't work for you, yet.

90
00:06:41,366 --> 00:06:42,958
(GREETING IN SPANISH)

91
00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:44,366
Pup 'N' Taco.

92
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:48,096
Oh, you've remodeled the garage.

93
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,471
Must have cost you hundreds.

94
00:06:53,011 --> 00:06:55,309
That's a good idea.
I oughta frame mine.

95
00:06:55,981 --> 00:06:57,972
Will the Pope be in later?

96
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:16,225
Here's my proposition.

97
00:07:16,301 --> 00:07:17,359
I'm all ears.

98
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:20,132
I want you to murder me.

99
00:07:23,842 --> 00:07:25,173
Here,

100
00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:26,711
on Thursday.

101
00:07:28,647 --> 00:07:30,581
I'd like you to shoot me dead.

102
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:38,150
And the reason I ask you
to do me this service

103
00:07:38,223 --> 00:07:41,192
is because I'm already
facing a very long,

104
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:43,251
painful and most certain death.

105
00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:46,661
You see, I have bone cancer.

106
00:07:47,966 --> 00:07:51,299
And I don't know if you know anything
about bone cancer, Mr. Nugent.

107
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:53,395
It's the worst kind you can get.

108
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:56,932
It just eats you up bit by bit.

109
00:08:02,881 --> 00:08:04,576
You don't look sick,
Mr. Stanwyk.

110
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,584
I don't feel sick. Not yet.

111
00:08:07,219 --> 00:08:09,847
They tell me it'll start
getting bad in about a month.

112
00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:12,652
After that,
I'd rather not be around for it.

113
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:15,993
Why don't you try suicide?

114
00:08:16,061 --> 00:08:17,653
Believe me,
I've thought about it.

115
00:08:17,729 --> 00:08:20,664
But my company's taken out a very
large life insurance policy on me.

116
00:08:20,732 --> 00:08:22,757
Suicide would nullify
my insurance,

117
00:08:23,235 --> 00:08:24,224
but murder does not.

118
00:08:30,809 --> 00:08:32,071
Why me?

119
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:33,810
You're a drifter,

120
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,105
pardon the expression, a junkie.

121
00:08:37,816 --> 00:08:40,341
Nobody would notice
if you just disappeared.

122
00:08:41,119 --> 00:08:44,145
You see, I've been watching
you for a couple of weeks.

123
00:08:44,856 --> 00:08:46,653
Maybe I'm just on vacation.

124
00:08:46,725 --> 00:08:49,125
Not with the scum
you hang out with. No.

125
00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:53,122
No, I've watched
and I've thought.

126
00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:55,724
It's rather
an elegant little plan.

127
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:57,928
I even have your escape
figured out for you.

128
00:08:58,003 --> 00:08:59,368
Swell.

129
00:09:01,773 --> 00:09:05,470
Has it ever occurred to you I might
not want to murder you, Stanwyk?

130
00:09:06,278 --> 00:09:08,906
I've got $50,000 says you will.

131
00:09:10,415 --> 00:09:12,178
$50,000.

132
00:09:12,384 --> 00:09:14,648
And a guarantee
you won't get caught.

133
00:09:14,953 --> 00:09:16,648
I'm still here.

134
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,787
I want it done Thursday
evening around 8:00 p.m.

135
00:09:19,858 --> 00:09:21,723
My wife will be
at her club function,

136
00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:23,624
and it's the staff's night off.

137
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:25,892
These will be open.

138
00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:26,988
Wouldn't they normally
be locked?

139
00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:30,091
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
The staff usually forget.

140
00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:32,270
Oh, yeah. I have the same
trouble with my help.

141
00:09:32,337 --> 00:09:34,805
I'll be here in the room
waiting for you.

142
00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:37,169
The safe will be open.

143
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:40,875
There will be $50,000 in it.

144
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,474
You'll be wearing rubber gloves.

145
00:09:44,316 --> 00:09:45,510
Do you own rubber gloves?

146
00:09:45,951 --> 00:09:49,045
I rent them.
I have a lease with an option to buy.

147
00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,479
Now, in this drawer...

148
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:56,221
A.357 Magnum.

149
00:09:56,294 --> 00:09:58,592
My.357. You use it.

150
00:09:59,331 --> 00:10:01,128
No one can trace it to you.

151
00:10:01,466 --> 00:10:03,627
Of course the room will be
in some disarray.

152
00:10:03,702 --> 00:10:06,262
You want it to look
like a burglary attempt?

153
00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:09,870
You come in and catch me,
I'm stealing your ties and money?

154
00:10:10,108 --> 00:10:11,370
We scuffle.

155
00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:15,075
And the gun gets loose,
and I shoot you right between the eyes.

156
00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:16,409
Precisely.

157
00:10:17,916 --> 00:10:19,042
Are you a good shot?

158
00:10:19,117 --> 00:10:20,414
Yeah, I'm all right.

159
00:10:20,952 --> 00:10:23,216
Well, get me on the first
shot, if you can.

160
00:10:24,189 --> 00:10:25,383
Do you have a passport?

161
00:10:25,457 --> 00:10:26,822
I could probably dig one up.

162
00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:30,359
Good.
Now, after you kill me,

163
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:31,888
take the Jaguar.

164
00:10:31,963 --> 00:10:34,454
The keys will be
in the glove compartment.

165
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:37,059
Take it where?
LAX.

166
00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:39,603
Go to the Pan Am desk.
There will be a ticket waiting for you.

167
00:10:39,671 --> 00:10:40,695
Where am I going?

168
00:10:40,772 --> 00:10:41,966
Rio.

169
00:10:42,507 --> 00:10:44,407
It departs at 11:00 p.m.

170
00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:47,211
They serve dinner on the flight?

171
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:48,746
And a movie and free drinks.

172
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,783
I'd recommend staying down
there for at least a year.

173
00:10:53,418 --> 00:10:54,544
So?

174
00:10:56,621 --> 00:10:58,213
So.

175
00:11:01,693 --> 00:11:03,217
You've certainly thought
this out.

176
00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:06,128
I'm not someone who leaves
a great deal to chance.

177
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:10,463
Those will be open?
Now don't worry about that.

178
00:11:10,535 --> 00:11:12,730
Just take care of the gloves,
the passport and the aim.

179
00:11:12,804 --> 00:11:14,328
I'll take care
of everything else.

180
00:11:14,406 --> 00:11:17,341
The gun, the money, the tickets

181
00:11:17,409 --> 00:11:18,842
and the dying.

182
00:11:19,244 --> 00:11:20,472
That's right.

183
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:24,215
Looks like you get
the hard part.

184
00:11:24,282 --> 00:11:25,647
What do you say?

185
00:11:26,151 --> 00:11:28,949
You'll be doing me
and my family a great service.

186
00:11:31,723 --> 00:11:33,190
Will you kill me?

187
00:11:38,463 --> 00:11:39,555
Sure.

188
00:11:53,545 --> 00:11:55,308
Hey! Good to see you.

189
00:11:55,914 --> 00:11:57,142
Hey, Slouch, how are you?

190
00:11:57,215 --> 00:11:58,773
Hey, check out the Beach Boy!

191
00:11:58,850 --> 00:11:59,839
Larry?
Yo.

192
00:11:59,918 --> 00:12:01,146
Can I steal you for a minute?

193
00:12:01,219 --> 00:12:02,914
Only if you promise not to return me.
It's a deal.

194
00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:04,979
Magic today, huh?
Yeah, Kareem's in the wash.

195
00:12:05,056 --> 00:12:06,683
I need a favor.
Shoot.

196
00:12:06,758 --> 00:12:07,782
Fletch!

197
00:12:07,859 --> 00:12:08,917
Did you hear something?
Not me.

198
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,586
Me neither. Let's see
what we have on a guy

199
00:12:10,662 --> 00:12:12,527
named Alan Stanwyk
in Beverly Hills.

200
00:12:12,597 --> 00:12:13,791
I need this right away.

201
00:12:13,865 --> 00:12:15,662
I take it by your presence
here that the story's done.

202
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:17,759
It's W-Y-K, okay?
I'll be right down.

203
00:12:17,836 --> 00:12:19,064
Tell me I'm right.
Excuse us.

204
00:12:19,137 --> 00:12:20,900
You are right, Frank,
but you're very peaked.

205
00:12:20,972 --> 00:12:22,234
You wanna throw up?
Come on in. Vomit...

206
00:12:22,307 --> 00:12:23,672
I want an answer!

207
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,766
The story's done, right?

208
00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:26,071
Almost.

209
00:12:26,144 --> 00:12:28,112
Almost, is not an answer.

210
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,444
"Yes, Frank. The story's
all done." That's an answer.

211
00:12:30,515 --> 00:12:33,245
And a damn fine answer,
if I do say so my damn self. Thank you.

212
00:12:33,318 --> 00:12:35,718
Irwin, professional journalism time now.
Two points.

213
00:12:35,787 --> 00:12:37,049
Go back to the beach...
Don't say "Irwin."

214
00:12:37,122 --> 00:12:39,249
...and finish the damn story!
Rubber gloves.

215
00:12:39,324 --> 00:12:41,258
Hey, Frank, I will.
I swear.

216
00:12:41,326 --> 00:12:42,953
Frank, something else
came up. Okay?

217
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:45,189
No. It's not okay.
You've got a deadline tomorrow.

218
00:12:45,263 --> 00:12:46,594
Did you see the ad
we ran Sunday?

219
00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:48,462
I don't read the paper.
What's the spread on the game...

220
00:12:48,533 --> 00:12:50,160
What's the spread on the game tonight?
Anybody know?

221
00:12:50,235 --> 00:12:52,328
MAN: Lakers by six.
Take a look.

222
00:12:53,171 --> 00:12:54,638
"Drugs on our beaches,
shame of the city."

223
00:12:54,706 --> 00:12:56,731
"Shame of the city."
That's very nice.

224
00:12:56,808 --> 00:12:58,708
Now, try to follow me on this.

225
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:01,769
You can't run the ad
and then not run the story.

226
00:13:03,181 --> 00:13:04,705
You can't? Why not?

227
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,441
Shit. Really?

228
00:13:09,254 --> 00:13:10,516
Frank, I'm just putting you on.

229
00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:12,113
You'll get the story
and be very proud of it.

230
00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:14,890
You broke it?
You know the source?

231
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,723
Practically.
Well, what's practically?

232
00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:18,820
Is it this guy Fat Sam?
You said you had pictures of him.

233
00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:20,660
I do have pictures
of him dealing.

234
00:13:20,732 --> 00:13:22,290
Well, let's go.
We'll run the pictures.

235
00:13:22,367 --> 00:13:23,732
You can't do that, Frank.

236
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:25,463
Fat Sam isn't the story.

237
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:27,168
There's a source behind him.

238
00:13:27,372 --> 00:13:28,464
Who?

239
00:13:29,007 --> 00:13:31,100
Well, there we're in
a kind of a gray area.

240
00:13:31,176 --> 00:13:32,336
All right, how gray?

241
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:34,238
Charcoal.

242
00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:39,340
May I help you with that?

243
00:13:39,951 --> 00:13:41,714
FLETCH: Okay. A little lighter.
Little lighter.

244
00:13:41,786 --> 00:13:43,447
Okay. Can you go higher?

245
00:13:43,521 --> 00:13:44,818
That's good.
Over to the right.

246
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,787
Higher. Higher. Perfect.

247
00:13:46,858 --> 00:13:48,723
Perfect. Nice and hard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

248
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:50,118
Okay, that's good.
Thank you.

249
00:13:50,195 --> 00:13:51,958
That it?
Perfect.

250
00:13:52,030 --> 00:13:53,725
Everything's recent.
Well.

251
00:13:53,798 --> 00:13:55,459
Let me see that.
"Alan Stanwyk,"

252
00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:58,400
"commercial airline pilot
from Provo, Utah."

253
00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:02,500
"Formerly a test pilot,
member of the Jaycees."

254
00:14:02,574 --> 00:14:03,973
Should we move on?
Yeah.

255
00:14:05,577 --> 00:14:06,976
Married Boyd Aviation.

256
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,511
He's no dummy.
That's big bucks.

257
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:11,572
"Mr. Stanwyk's parents,
Marvin and Velma, of Provo,"

258
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,174
"were unable to attend
the wedding."

259
00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:16,618
Those are three names I enjoy,
Marvin, Velma and Provo.

260
00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:20,987
Hold it there.
That's good.

261
00:14:21,626 --> 00:14:24,026
Cancer.
"Cancer Society Benefit."

262
00:14:24,162 --> 00:14:27,359
"Internist
Dr. Joseph Dolan."

263
00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:29,291
"With internist
Dr. Joseph Dolan."

264
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:30,493
I wonder if that's his doctor.

265
00:14:30,969 --> 00:14:32,493
One way to find out.

266
00:14:32,904 --> 00:14:34,371
Yeah. There is one way
to find out.

267
00:14:34,606 --> 00:14:37,040
So where do you know Alan from?

268
00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:39,206
We play tennis at the club.

269
00:14:39,778 --> 00:14:40,938
Really?

270
00:14:41,012 --> 00:14:43,037
California Racquet Club?
Right.

271
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,116
That's my club, too.
Oh.

272
00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:48,178
I don't remember
seeing you there.

273
00:14:48,486 --> 00:14:52,252
Well, I haven't been playing for a
while because of these kidney pains.

274
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:53,313
Right.

275
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:56,723
Now, how long have you had
these pains, Mr. Barber?

276
00:14:56,795 --> 00:14:58,160
No, that's Babar.

277
00:15:00,031 --> 00:15:01,123
Two "B's"?

278
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,700
One "B." B-A-B-A-R.

279
00:15:03,768 --> 00:15:04,826
That's two.

280
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:08,839
Yeah, but not right next to each other.
I thought that's what you meant.

281
00:15:10,608 --> 00:15:12,371
Arnold Babar.

282
00:15:12,944 --> 00:15:14,411
Isn't there a children's book

283
00:15:14,479 --> 00:15:16,709
about an elephant named Babar?

284
00:15:18,316 --> 00:15:19,544
I don't know.
I don't have any.

285
00:15:19,617 --> 00:15:20,914
No children?

286
00:15:21,419 --> 00:15:22,886
No elephant books.

287
00:15:24,022 --> 00:15:25,387
Open wide.

288
00:15:26,324 --> 00:15:27,848
Say, "Ah."

289
00:15:29,694 --> 00:15:31,662
You know, it's an odd name.

290
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:34,897
I don't recall having seen it
on the club registry.

291
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:38,758
Well, I don't formally belong.
I'm a guest of my aunt's.

292
00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:40,335
Your aunt?

293
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:41,863
Right. Mrs. Smith.

294
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,305
Joan or Margaret?

295
00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:44,364
Right.

296
00:15:44,876 --> 00:15:45,934
Well, which one?

297
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:48,471
Margaret.

298
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:51,915
Funny old bird.
Yeah.

299
00:15:51,983 --> 00:15:53,678
Is she ever.
I could tell you some stories.

300
00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:55,014
I bet.

301
00:15:57,288 --> 00:16:00,951
You know, it's a shame about Ed.

302
00:16:01,059 --> 00:16:03,550
Oh, it was.
That was really a shame.

303
00:16:03,628 --> 00:16:05,459
To go so suddenly like that.

304
00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:07,527
He was dying for years.

305
00:16:07,832 --> 00:16:09,060
Sure.

306
00:16:09,367 --> 00:16:11,494
But the end was
very, very sudden.

307
00:16:13,271 --> 00:16:15,205
He was in intensive care
for eight weeks.

308
00:16:15,273 --> 00:16:17,070
But I mean the very end,
when he actually died.

309
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,871
That was extremely sudden.

310
00:16:21,279 --> 00:16:24,305
You know, Alan and I were
recently speaking of dying.

311
00:16:25,116 --> 00:16:28,711
He told me Boyd Aviation took out
a large insurance policy on him.

312
00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:31,682
You've got to be
in some kind of perfect shape

313
00:16:31,756 --> 00:16:33,951
to get that sort of a policy,
I bet.

314
00:16:34,459 --> 00:16:36,950
Drop your shorts
and bend over, Mr. Babar.

315
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:40,191
Oh, no, really.
We don't need to. I...

316
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:43,162
We don't want to do that.

317
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:45,861
You know, my kidneys feel a
lot better in this position.

318
00:16:45,937 --> 00:16:48,633
Maybe it's just that I'm
not doing any calisthenics.

319
00:16:48,773 --> 00:16:51,207
You know, if I did sit-ups in the
morning or bent over like this,

320
00:16:51,276 --> 00:16:53,267
I'd probably feel 100%...

321
00:16:53,344 --> 00:16:55,835
(SINGING)
♪ Moon river

322
00:16:55,947 --> 00:16:56,971
Phew!

323
00:16:57,048 --> 00:16:59,312
Thank you, Doc.
You ever serve time?

324
00:16:59,384 --> 00:17:00,408
DOLAN: Breathe easy.

325
00:17:00,485 --> 00:17:01,543
Breathe easy.

326
00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:06,357
You know, I was surprised that
Alan was able to get that policy.

327
00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:08,392
I know there's a history
of cancer in the family.

328
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,155
There is?
Yeah.

329
00:17:10,995 --> 00:17:12,019
As a matter of fact...

330
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:13,724
(GRUNTS) You using
the whole fist, Doc?

331
00:17:14,132 --> 00:17:15,599
Just relax.

332
00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:18,634
Yeah, I saw Alan the other day.

333
00:17:18,703 --> 00:17:19,965
He was looking a little peaked.

334
00:17:20,605 --> 00:17:21,867
I don't know.
I think he's lost weight.

335
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:23,134
Are you sure he's all right?

336
00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:26,467
I can't discuss another patient.
You know that.

337
00:17:26,911 --> 00:17:30,039
Well, I don't find anything
wrong with you.

338
00:17:30,882 --> 00:17:32,782
Well. I'm sure it's not
for a lack of looking.

339
00:17:35,353 --> 00:17:36,547
<i><font color="

340
00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:39,287
<i>I was anxious to get back
to my drug story.</i>

341
00:17:39,357 --> 00:17:41,882
<i>But since Dr. Jellyfinger
wasn't talking,</i>

342
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,986
<i>I just had to find out a little
more about Stanwyk's health.</i>

343
00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:51,962
May I help you, Dr...

344
00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:53,503
Oh, it's me,
Dr. Rosenpenis.

345
00:17:53,571 --> 00:17:54,560
Doctor who?

346
00:17:54,639 --> 00:17:55,765
I'm just here to check
Alan Stanwyk's file.

347
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,102
Dr. The rose rose.
I'm here to...

348
00:17:57,175 --> 00:17:58,904
Could you give
that name again? I...

349
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:00,774
It's Dr. Rosenhite. I...

350
00:18:00,845 --> 00:18:02,312
I want to check the records room.
Doctor who?

351
00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:04,371
Dr. Rosen.
Where's the record room?

352
00:18:04,449 --> 00:18:05,711
Next to Pathology.

353
00:18:05,783 --> 00:18:07,944
Would you do me a favor and
take care of these things?

354
00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:10,317
I'd like to check
Alan Stanwyk's file.

355
00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:12,447
What the hell's happening?

356
00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:13,513
Where the hell's
the records room?

357
00:18:13,591 --> 00:18:14,615
Next to Pathology, B1.

358
00:18:14,692 --> 00:18:16,819
I can't hear you. What?
B1.

359
00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:19,363
Could you just collate these for me?
Where did you say that was?

360
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:21,330
B1.
B1. Thank you very much.

361
00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:22,491
You can take the elevator.

362
00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:23,898
Thank you very much.

363
00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:01,698
Hey, you. Give me a hand for a
second, will you, Doctor?

364
00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:03,299
Me?

365
00:19:03,374 --> 00:19:04,534
Come on! Come on!

366
00:19:04,609 --> 00:19:05,974
(LOUD WHIRRING)

367
00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:11,710
Yeah.

368
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:17,981
Have you ever seen
a spleen that large?

369
00:19:18,056 --> 00:19:20,422
No, not since breakfast.

370
00:19:21,092 --> 00:19:22,650
Here. Hold this.

371
00:19:23,261 --> 00:19:24,785
Listen, I'm not really
prepared for this.

372
00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:26,159
I haven't sterilized my hands.

373
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,722
You're not gonna
make this guy any sicker.

374
00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:33,365
(LOUD WHIRRING)

375
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:41,439
I'll get it.

376
00:19:46,284 --> 00:19:47,683
I don't feel good.

377
00:19:47,752 --> 00:19:48,844
(EXCLAIMING)

378
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,320
Boy, you never get used
to the smell, do you?

379
00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:53,379
(THUDDING)

380
00:19:58,696 --> 00:20:00,755
Oh, Doctor.
Are you all right?

381
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:03,826
Where am I?

382
00:20:03,901 --> 00:20:05,266
You're in the records room.

383
00:20:05,336 --> 00:20:06,530
The records room?

384
00:20:06,604 --> 00:20:07,628
Oh, I'm fine.

385
00:20:07,705 --> 00:20:09,070
Can I get you something?

386
00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:11,608
Do you have
"The Beatles' White Album"?

387
00:20:12,043 --> 00:20:14,341
Never mind.
Just get me a glass of hot fat.

388
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:16,640
And bring me the head of Alfredo
Garcia while you're out there.

389
00:20:16,714 --> 00:20:18,978
Well, Dr. Holmes went to
get you some smelling salts.

390
00:20:19,050 --> 00:20:21,143
He was quite surprised
that you fainted.

391
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:22,709
He was surprised?

392
00:20:23,454 --> 00:20:24,944
I thought that body
was my dead brother.

393
00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:26,456
Oh!

394
00:20:26,557 --> 00:20:29,287
It's okay. But that spleen
was a spitting image.

395
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:30,884
No, I guess I'm fine.

396
00:20:31,963 --> 00:20:33,590
(GURGLING)

397
00:20:34,532 --> 00:20:37,126
Nurse, I'm hyperventilating.

398
00:20:37,201 --> 00:20:39,066
Would you get me
a paper bag, please?

399
00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:40,331
Yes, right away.

400
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:41,463
Thank you.

401
00:20:49,847 --> 00:20:51,109
(DOCTORS LAUGHING)

402
00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:25,872
(METAL CLATTERING)

403
00:21:30,221 --> 00:21:31,916
Here you are, Doctor.

404
00:21:31,989 --> 00:21:33,422
Oh, thank you very much.

405
00:21:33,491 --> 00:21:35,322
Is there anything particular
I can help you with?

406
00:21:35,393 --> 00:21:38,521
No. Yes, there is,
actually. My...

407
00:21:41,432 --> 00:21:44,424
One of my associates was
doing a biopsy on this man.

408
00:21:44,569 --> 00:21:46,332
Very recently, they said
he had a melanoma,

409
00:21:46,404 --> 00:21:48,531
or a carcinoma,
some kind of a noma.

410
00:21:48,940 --> 00:21:50,771
I don't know.
There's no record of it here.

411
00:21:51,676 --> 00:21:53,143
Well, if he had one,

412
00:21:53,211 --> 00:21:55,008
it would certainly be in here.

413
00:21:56,748 --> 00:21:57,874
Wait. Here it is.

414
00:21:57,949 --> 00:21:59,883
"A surgical removal
of two moles."

415
00:21:59,951 --> 00:22:01,441
"Tissue was benign."

416
00:22:03,821 --> 00:22:06,085
Benign? There's no mention of
cancer here at all? That's it?

417
00:22:06,157 --> 00:22:07,419
That's it.

418
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:10,952
This is one month ago.

419
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:15,728
In other words, according to this hospital,
Alan Stanwyk does not have cancer.

420
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,097
I guess not.

421
00:22:18,269 --> 00:22:19,793
He'll be so relieved.

422
00:22:22,173 --> 00:22:24,198
Thank you very much.
My pleasure.

423
00:22:24,275 --> 00:22:25,742
Have a nice day.

424
00:22:44,562 --> 00:22:45,551
(WHISTLING)

425
00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:48,989
WOMAN: That sauce?

426
00:22:53,104 --> 00:22:54,264
Have a bite.

427
00:22:54,739 --> 00:22:56,434
Just a minute.
I'm not finished yet.

428
00:22:56,507 --> 00:22:57,769
Sorry, Mr. Underhill.

429
00:22:57,842 --> 00:22:59,070
Does that look
like I'm finished?

430
00:22:59,143 --> 00:23:00,542
I guess not.

431
00:23:01,512 --> 00:23:02,774
Now I'm finished.

432
00:23:02,847 --> 00:23:04,337
Whatever you say,
Mr. Underhill.

433
00:23:12,490 --> 00:23:15,323
I imagine you're expecting
a nice gratuity, right?

434
00:23:17,395 --> 00:23:18,760
Maybe next time.

435
00:23:23,568 --> 00:23:24,830
Gail Stanwyk?

436
00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:26,869
Yeah.

437
00:23:26,938 --> 00:23:28,769
I haven't seen you since the wedding.
You look great.

438
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,308
I do?
That's very sweet of you.

439
00:23:32,810 --> 00:23:34,505
You know,
I have to confess something to you,

440
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:36,672
I must've been pretty plowed
at your wedding.

441
00:23:36,747 --> 00:23:38,874
I don't have any idea
who you are.

442
00:23:39,717 --> 00:23:40,945
Not my wedding, your wedding.

443
00:23:41,018 --> 00:23:44,112
Oh, my wedding.
Thank God.

444
00:23:45,089 --> 00:23:48,149
No. Doesn't really help me.
Are you a friend of Alan's?

445
00:23:48,226 --> 00:23:50,319
Why, yes, we used to fly
together. I'm John.

446
00:23:50,394 --> 00:23:51,691
Oh, John.

447
00:23:55,132 --> 00:23:56,827
Oh, together.

448
00:23:58,636 --> 00:23:59,967
No. John who?

449
00:24:00,705 --> 00:24:02,502
John Cocktoastoy.

450
00:24:02,740 --> 00:24:03,798
It's a beautiful name.

451
00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:04,864
Well, it's Scotch-Rumanian.

452
00:24:05,209 --> 00:24:06,403
That's an odd combination.

453
00:24:06,477 --> 00:24:08,172
Yeah, well, so were my parents.

454
00:24:08,579 --> 00:24:10,137
Do you mind
if I practice some more?

455
00:24:10,214 --> 00:24:11,806
I have to work
on my ground stroke.

456
00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:13,916
You bet. Go ahead.

457
00:24:21,025 --> 00:24:23,687
Excuse me, senor.
You are a member of the club?

458
00:24:23,928 --> 00:24:25,987
No, I'm not.
I'm with the Underhills.

459
00:24:26,063 --> 00:24:27,553
They are left, senor.

460
00:24:27,965 --> 00:24:29,125
That's all right.
They'll be back.

461
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,599
He went out for his urinalysis.

462
00:24:31,269 --> 00:24:33,032
Would you like some drinks,
senor, while you wait?

463
00:24:33,104 --> 00:24:35,299
I will put it
on the Underhills' bill.

464
00:24:37,008 --> 00:24:39,442
Yes, very good.
I'll have a Bloody Mary,

465
00:24:39,510 --> 00:24:42,308
and a steak sandwich,
and a steak sandwich, please.

466
00:24:42,380 --> 00:24:44,007
Very good, senor.

467
00:24:44,081 --> 00:24:45,639
Oh, hi.

468
00:24:47,985 --> 00:24:49,384
So, how's Alan?

469
00:24:49,453 --> 00:24:51,114
What are you asking me for?

470
00:24:51,188 --> 00:24:53,213
He's been so busy lately,
I hardly see him.

471
00:24:53,291 --> 00:24:55,122
He's been preoccupied.

472
00:24:55,192 --> 00:24:56,216
With what?

473
00:24:56,294 --> 00:24:58,922
I don't know.
Personal stuff.

474
00:24:59,063 --> 00:25:01,224
Whoa! Look, I hit one.

475
00:25:01,766 --> 00:25:04,064
Not bad. You know,
lobs are a very important part of the game.

476
00:25:04,135 --> 00:25:05,227
Sorry, sir.

477
00:25:07,438 --> 00:25:09,531
Let me show you
a couple of things.

478
00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:12,199
Here. Stand here for a sec.
Now look.

479
00:25:12,276 --> 00:25:15,439
When the ball comes,
face the ball like this, you see?

480
00:25:15,513 --> 00:25:16,537
Yeah.

481
00:25:16,614 --> 00:25:18,104
And then pivot your body,

482
00:25:18,482 --> 00:25:21,212
and step in like that. Swing.
Step in with your left foot.

483
00:25:21,285 --> 00:25:22,775
Just like this.

484
00:25:23,321 --> 00:25:24,379
Okay?

485
00:25:24,789 --> 00:25:26,188
Go ahead. Try one.

486
00:25:26,591 --> 00:25:28,889
All right. Go ahead.
Get in that ready position.

487
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:29,949
Yeah.

488
00:25:30,428 --> 00:25:32,828
And the ball's going to come now.
I want you to pivot. Ready?

489
00:25:32,897 --> 00:25:34,330
Yeah. How many did you
put in the machine?

490
00:25:34,398 --> 00:25:36,093
I thought I put a lot.

491
00:25:36,167 --> 00:25:37,566
Well, that's it.
It's finished.

492
00:25:37,735 --> 00:25:39,532
Good. Much better.

493
00:25:40,805 --> 00:25:42,397
You know,
I must be having an off day.

494
00:25:42,473 --> 00:25:44,270
I'm usually a fabulous player.

495
00:25:44,375 --> 00:25:46,309
Well, I have this effect
on a lot of women.

496
00:25:46,377 --> 00:25:47,935
I bet you do.

497
00:25:48,713 --> 00:25:51,045
You know, the reason
I was asking about Alan is

498
00:25:51,115 --> 00:25:53,015
that I bumped into him
this morning and...

499
00:25:53,084 --> 00:25:54,415
You know
what I can't figure out?

500
00:25:54,485 --> 00:25:55,713
Alan's in Utah.

501
00:25:55,786 --> 00:25:59,517
I can't figure out what I was
doing in Utah this morning.

502
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:03,891
I'm very flattered,

503
00:26:04,328 --> 00:26:05,727
but I'm also very married.

504
00:26:07,331 --> 00:26:09,697
You are trying to hit on me,
aren't you?

505
00:26:09,767 --> 00:26:11,166
How did you guess?

506
00:26:12,703 --> 00:26:15,399
I'm such a heel.
I don't know what came over me.

507
00:26:15,473 --> 00:26:18,067
If I had a nickel for every
one of Alan's flyboy buddies

508
00:26:18,142 --> 00:26:19,700
who tried to pick me up,

509
00:26:19,777 --> 00:26:21,267
I'd be a rich woman.

510
00:26:21,412 --> 00:26:23,004
You are a rich woman.

511
00:26:23,414 --> 00:26:24,847
See what I mean?

512
00:26:28,019 --> 00:26:31,318
Who would have thought the Vice
President knew I was opening the door.

513
00:26:31,389 --> 00:26:32,879
But the Secret Service, they...

514
00:26:32,957 --> 00:26:34,424
Whack! And this blood, and...

515
00:26:37,328 --> 00:26:38,488
Washington.

516
00:26:38,562 --> 00:26:39,961
Sugar, Mr. Poon?

517
00:26:40,598 --> 00:26:42,589
No, never, never.
Thank you.

518
00:26:48,205 --> 00:26:50,730
Well, now, let me reiterate

519
00:26:50,808 --> 00:26:53,174
that this is not
a formal investigation.

520
00:26:54,245 --> 00:26:57,214
That is, if Alan Stanwyk isn't
involved in any improprieties...

521
00:26:57,281 --> 00:27:00,842
Alan Stanwyk is not involved
in any improprieties.

522
00:27:00,918 --> 00:27:04,684
I don't know where the SEC comes off
by even making such an accusation.

523
00:27:04,755 --> 00:27:07,223
Now, you know that,
and I know that

524
00:27:08,259 --> 00:27:10,420
but somebody's bucking
for a promotion.

525
00:27:10,494 --> 00:27:13,054
It's probably that Pederast Hanrahan.
I don't know...

526
00:27:13,130 --> 00:27:14,654
All I know is,
if I don't go back with something

527
00:27:14,732 --> 00:27:17,394
you and your son-in-law are going
to be the scapegoats of the week.

528
00:27:17,468 --> 00:27:19,766
Unbelievable.
This is unbelievable.

529
00:27:20,371 --> 00:27:23,101
I mean, look at this.
They even want to know what he's doing in Utah.

530
00:27:23,174 --> 00:27:26,302
Utah? Oh, Jesus H. Christ
on a popsicle stick.

531
00:27:26,677 --> 00:27:27,803
First of all,

532
00:27:27,878 --> 00:27:31,211
Alan Stanwyk does not own
one single share of stock!

533
00:27:32,483 --> 00:27:36,817
The $3 million for the ranch in Provo
was entirely provided by my daughter

534
00:27:36,887 --> 00:27:40,015
who converted some of her personal
holdings, not corporate holdings.

535
00:27:40,091 --> 00:27:41,490
Personal holdings.

536
00:27:43,260 --> 00:27:45,854
So, if any of your DC boys

537
00:27:45,930 --> 00:27:48,763
want to make something out
of that, bring them on.

538
00:27:49,300 --> 00:27:53,737
Otherwise, you tell your Commission
to get the hell out of my face.

539
00:27:57,541 --> 00:27:59,065
God, I admire you.

540
00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:04,875
Well,

541
00:28:05,449 --> 00:28:07,178
consider this case closed.

542
00:28:09,253 --> 00:28:10,652
Look at this,

543
00:28:11,222 --> 00:28:13,713
it's even stopped bleeding.
Isn't that something?

544
00:28:13,891 --> 00:28:15,051
My pleasure.

545
00:28:15,192 --> 00:28:16,819
Well, thank you and good day.

546
00:28:17,194 --> 00:28:18,627
Oh, by the way...

547
00:28:18,696 --> 00:28:19,754
Yeah.

548
00:28:20,498 --> 00:28:22,489
...what kind of a name
is Poon?

549
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,668
Comanche Indian. Goodbye.

550
00:28:27,204 --> 00:28:30,503
Oh, Madeline, Frieda lost the number
for Alan's realtor in Provo, Utah.

551
00:28:30,574 --> 00:28:32,041
Could you get me that
real quick, please?

552
00:28:32,109 --> 00:28:33,633
Jim Swarthout?
Yeah.

553
00:28:34,512 --> 00:28:35,979
(WHISTLING)

554
00:28:37,114 --> 00:28:38,706
I'm sorry, who are you again?

555
00:28:38,783 --> 00:28:40,148
I'm Frieda's boss.

556
00:28:40,851 --> 00:28:42,819
Who's Frieda?
My secretary.

557
00:28:46,056 --> 00:28:48,991
<i>FLETCH: I knew my junkie pals were
awaiting my good cheer on the beach</i>

558
00:28:49,059 --> 00:28:52,222
<i>but I needed a second wind,
a beer and a wardrobe change.</i>

559
00:28:55,933 --> 00:28:59,425
<i>As I pulled up to my palatial
imitation apartment building,</i>

560
00:28:59,503 --> 00:29:04,236
<i>I observed the familiar red Oldsmobuick
of Mr. Arnold T. Pants, Esquire,</i>

561
00:29:04,575 --> 00:29:07,135
<i>attorney for the former
Mrs. Irwin Fletcher.</i>

562
00:29:07,945 --> 00:29:09,810
<i>Time to use
the service entrance.</i>

563
00:29:45,616 --> 00:29:49,552
Refusal to pay alimony is
a jailable offense, Fletch.

564
00:29:53,457 --> 00:29:55,516
What about trespassing
and loitering?

565
00:29:55,593 --> 00:29:57,959
I am neither loitering
nor trespassing.

566
00:29:58,095 --> 00:30:00,495
I've simply chosen
an advisable location

567
00:30:00,564 --> 00:30:02,828
to await my client's
delinquent husband.

568
00:30:02,900 --> 00:30:05,994
Well, I don't like to discuss business
on the lanai. Let's go inside.

569
00:30:09,173 --> 00:30:12,301
Okay. If you're wearing rubbers,
leave them outside, would you?

570
00:30:15,813 --> 00:30:17,508
A little one-on-one?

571
00:30:20,284 --> 00:30:22,013
He draws the foul.

572
00:30:25,823 --> 00:30:27,950
You owe Wendy $918.

573
00:30:28,025 --> 00:30:29,049
She doesn't need it.

574
00:30:29,126 --> 00:30:31,094
She's been living with somebody for months.
And I know it.

575
00:30:31,161 --> 00:30:33,061
I don't know
what you're referring to.

576
00:30:33,130 --> 00:30:35,257
Wendy maintains
her own residence.

577
00:30:35,499 --> 00:30:36,932
This stinks.

578
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:38,400
I empathize
with your plight, Fletch.

579
00:30:38,469 --> 00:30:40,266
However, you threw her out.

580
00:30:40,671 --> 00:30:42,161
She was sleeping with everybody.

581
00:30:42,239 --> 00:30:43,968
You should have proved that
in a court of law.

582
00:30:44,041 --> 00:30:45,599
My lawyer was a bum.

583
00:30:46,377 --> 00:30:47,674
I agree.

584
00:30:47,745 --> 00:30:48,939
I think she slept with him, too.

585
00:30:49,079 --> 00:30:50,444
You may be right.

586
00:30:52,116 --> 00:30:53,481
Are you serious?

587
00:30:53,651 --> 00:30:55,118
That's history, Fletch.

588
00:30:55,185 --> 00:30:57,244
You owe us $918.

589
00:30:59,924 --> 00:31:00,982
Hey!

590
00:31:01,759 --> 00:31:03,784
I think our problems
may just be solved.

591
00:31:04,795 --> 00:31:05,784
Ed McMahon.

592
00:31:06,630 --> 00:31:08,564
I think I just won
a million bucks.

593
00:31:08,966 --> 00:31:11,400
(CHUCKLING) Yeah. "Irwin M.
Fletcher, you choose."

594
00:31:12,102 --> 00:31:13,126
(HOOTING)

595
00:31:13,203 --> 00:31:15,637
Oh, boy.
I lost again. Sorry.

596
00:31:15,806 --> 00:31:17,467
This is no joke, Fletch.

597
00:31:17,741 --> 00:31:19,470
If some kind of payment
isn't made,

598
00:31:19,576 --> 00:31:21,134
I'm gonna have to
contact your paper,

599
00:31:21,211 --> 00:31:22,838
garnish you your wages.

600
00:31:23,614 --> 00:31:25,741
I can't have my wages
garnish-ied.

601
00:31:26,650 --> 00:31:27,912
Tell you what.

602
00:31:28,419 --> 00:31:30,614
Cash? I'm impressed.

603
00:31:30,688 --> 00:31:32,178
I saw my pimp today.

604
00:31:33,057 --> 00:31:34,081
(EXCLAIMS)

605
00:31:34,158 --> 00:31:35,489
Open your raincoat.

606
00:31:35,559 --> 00:31:37,959
Come on. Just once.
It's worth it.

607
00:31:38,829 --> 00:31:40,729
That's $1,000.

608
00:31:40,798 --> 00:31:42,356
You apply the difference
to next month, okay?

609
00:31:42,433 --> 00:31:44,025
Now scram.
Till then.

610
00:31:44,635 --> 00:31:47,832
Keep $10 for yourself.
Go out and get yourself a nice piece of ass.

611
00:32:05,556 --> 00:32:07,956
<i><font color="
our guest is the Most Valuable Player</i>

612
00:32:08,025 --> 00:32:10,823
<i>of the National Basketball
Association, six times.</i>

613
00:32:10,894 --> 00:32:12,156
<i>From the Los Angeles Lakers,</i>

614
00:32:12,229 --> 00:32:15,596
<i>the all-time scoring champion of the
NBA, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.</i>

615
00:32:15,666 --> 00:32:18,430
<i>And he's coming off a game that was
second to none in his brilliant career.</i>

616
00:32:18,502 --> 00:32:19,992
<i>You gotta be proud.</i>

617
00:32:20,070 --> 00:32:21,901
<i>KAREEM: Oh, definitely, Chick.
It was a great effort.</i>

618
00:32:21,972 --> 00:32:24,031
<i>But, you know,
I had a lot of help,</i>

619
00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:25,268
<i>and we're just glad to be here.</i>

620
00:32:25,342 --> 00:32:27,173
<i>Hey, how about Fletch?</i>

621
00:32:27,678 --> 00:32:30,476
<i>What can I say about Fletch?
He's been fantastic.</i>

622
00:32:30,547 --> 00:32:33,175
<i>He boxes out for us,
gets the tough rebounds</i>

623
00:32:33,250 --> 00:32:35,218
<i>and does the tough things
that we need to win.</i>

624
00:32:35,285 --> 00:32:36,684
<i>It's great working with him.</i>

625
00:32:36,754 --> 00:32:38,449
<i>I don't know
where we'd be without him.</i>

626
00:32:40,157 --> 00:32:41,351
<i>And let's take a look
at the play.</i>

627
00:32:41,425 --> 00:32:43,825
<i>He is actually 6'5".
With the Afro, 6'9".</i>

628
00:32:43,894 --> 00:32:45,521
<i>Pretty good dribbler.
Comes in deep.</i>

629
00:32:45,596 --> 00:32:47,655
<i>His club is behind
by one point at this stage.</i>

630
00:32:47,731 --> 00:32:49,858
<i>Fletch comes in,
puts the ball through the legs!</i>

631
00:32:49,933 --> 00:32:51,730
<i>What a great play!
And he puts it up and in!</i>

632
00:32:51,802 --> 00:32:53,633
<i>And the Lakers have the lead!</i>

633
00:32:53,704 --> 00:32:55,365
<i>Oh, was that some kind
of a play!</i>

634
00:32:55,439 --> 00:32:58,636
<i>You know, this gritty kid from the streets
of Harlem really creates excitement.</i>

635
00:32:58,709 --> 00:33:02,167
<i>$4 million a year, that's true.
But he earns every nickel of it.</i>

636
00:33:02,246 --> 00:33:05,647
<i>Look how he shakes off four
or five defenders with ease.</i>

637
00:33:06,884 --> 00:33:10,650
<i>Fletch, he truly defines
grace under pressure.</i>

638
00:33:14,658 --> 00:33:15,920
Lar, it's me.

639
00:33:16,126 --> 00:33:17,684
Listen, see if you've got
anything on Stanwyk

640
00:33:17,761 --> 00:33:19,524
from the time
he used to live in Utah.

641
00:33:19,596 --> 00:33:22,030
Yeah. And also check out
a realtor in Provo.

642
00:33:22,099 --> 00:33:23,361
His name is Swarthout.

643
00:33:23,434 --> 00:33:25,299
(SIREN BLARING)

644
00:33:29,573 --> 00:33:30,733
Shit!

645
00:33:41,685 --> 00:33:43,118
FLETCH: What's going on?

646
00:33:43,187 --> 00:33:45,018
Take off, Fletch! Hey!

647
00:33:45,089 --> 00:33:46,556
CREASE:
What are you doing?

648
00:33:46,623 --> 00:33:48,352
They're after Gummy again.
Come here.

649
00:33:48,425 --> 00:33:51,553
Hey, slow down.
Fletch, this is dumb.

650
00:33:54,932 --> 00:33:56,991
(GUMMY SCREAMING)

651
00:33:57,601 --> 00:33:58,659
Come on, man!

652
00:33:58,735 --> 00:34:01,033
Hey, what are you doing, man?
He's defenseless.

653
00:34:01,105 --> 00:34:02,834
No, no, no!
Don't do that!

654
00:34:03,540 --> 00:34:05,371
Get up!
What are you doing?

655
00:34:05,509 --> 00:34:06,498
(FLETCH GRUNTING)

656
00:34:06,677 --> 00:34:07,939
Fletch!

657
00:34:12,850 --> 00:34:14,112
GUMMY:
Let me out of here!

658
00:34:22,259 --> 00:34:23,783
MAN: Beat it, cop!

659
00:34:25,062 --> 00:34:27,053
Hey, you're really nuts.

660
00:34:28,132 --> 00:34:29,258
You okay?

661
00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:31,358
Yeah. I feel like $100.

662
00:34:32,669 --> 00:34:34,193
They didn't do anything.

663
00:34:34,271 --> 00:34:35,932
What? What are you
talking about?

664
00:34:36,006 --> 00:34:37,598
I busted their window,
and they didn't do anything.

665
00:34:37,674 --> 00:34:39,403
You're lucky or something.

666
00:34:39,510 --> 00:34:41,671
It's not luck.
They didn't want me.

667
00:34:43,814 --> 00:34:45,213
They wanted Gummy.

668
00:34:47,384 --> 00:34:49,079
The cops and Gummy...

669
00:34:58,762 --> 00:35:01,458
Come on, Frank. Relax, will you?
I need a little more time.

670
00:35:01,532 --> 00:35:02,521
I could be on to something here.

671
00:35:02,599 --> 00:35:03,691
You're on to something?

672
00:35:03,767 --> 00:35:05,064
Yeah.
Good. What?

673
00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:07,134
I don't want to spoil
your surprise.

674
00:35:07,371 --> 00:35:08,497
Read about it tomorrow.

675
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:11,667
What? What do you want?

676
00:35:12,009 --> 00:35:13,601
Don't point. Speak!

677
00:35:14,444 --> 00:35:15,809
I need Fletch for a second.

678
00:35:15,879 --> 00:35:16,903
She needs me.

679
00:35:16,980 --> 00:35:18,675
I got nothing on Utah
or Jim Swarthout.

680
00:35:18,749 --> 00:35:21,741
I know, honey. We have to put
this on the back burner right now.

681
00:35:21,818 --> 00:35:23,945
Right here. That's good.

682
00:35:24,021 --> 00:35:26,888
You wanna give me
just a little hint?

683
00:35:27,124 --> 00:35:28,614
All right, Frank.

684
00:35:29,593 --> 00:35:31,220
There just may be some cops
involved in all of this.

685
00:35:31,295 --> 00:35:32,887
Did you say cops?
Yeah.

686
00:35:32,963 --> 00:35:34,328
'Cause that's the one thing
I did find.

687
00:35:34,398 --> 00:35:36,423
It's from last month,
so it was in the unsorted pile.

688
00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:37,728
What's this?
More cops.

689
00:35:38,936 --> 00:35:40,460
Frank, I need to go to Utah.

690
00:35:40,537 --> 00:35:41,526
Utah?

691
00:35:41,605 --> 00:35:42,867
Yeah, Utah.

692
00:35:42,940 --> 00:35:45,204
It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada.
You've seen pictures.

693
00:35:45,275 --> 00:35:46,606
What about finding the source?

694
00:35:46,677 --> 00:35:48,144
I have some ideas.

695
00:35:49,413 --> 00:35:51,210
Come on, Frank.
Say "yes."

696
00:35:51,281 --> 00:35:52,839
I'll buy you some new deodorant.

697
00:35:53,984 --> 00:35:56,145
Go to Transportation.
Get a ticket.

698
00:35:56,386 --> 00:35:58,183
My hero.
Nothing to it.

699
00:36:06,230 --> 00:36:07,925
<i>(WOMAN ON RECORDER
PANTING)</i>

700
00:36:09,499 --> 00:36:11,592
<i>WOMAN: You're not
recording this, are you?</i>

701
00:36:11,668 --> 00:36:13,158
<i>FLETCH: No. Never. Never.</i>

702
00:36:16,139 --> 00:36:17,470
Question.

703
00:36:25,349 --> 00:36:26,509
Question.

704
00:36:29,286 --> 00:36:31,379
Why does a man
ask me to kill him

705
00:36:32,122 --> 00:36:34,420
and lie about dying
when he isn't dying?

706
00:36:34,658 --> 00:36:35,818
He asked me to kill him.

707
00:36:37,828 --> 00:36:41,628
Question. Gail Stanwyk converts
$3 million of her stocks

708
00:36:42,065 --> 00:36:43,191
to buy the ranch house.

709
00:36:43,267 --> 00:36:44,564
Why pay in cash?

710
00:36:59,316 --> 00:37:02,149
(POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

711
00:37:14,898 --> 00:37:16,456
Mr. Jim Swarthout?

712
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,331
My name is Igor Stravinsky.

713
00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:21,030
And I'm calling about some
ranch property I'd like to buy.

714
00:37:21,104 --> 00:37:23,834
Good, Mr. Stravinsky,
what did you have in mind?

715
00:37:24,975 --> 00:37:26,340
Mmm-hmm.

716
00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:28,844
Oh, are you a friend of Alan's?

717
00:37:28,945 --> 00:37:30,537
Well, no, not exactly.
I was at the club,

718
00:37:30,614 --> 00:37:33,276
and I overheard some people talking
about the property you sold him.

719
00:37:33,350 --> 00:37:36,046
And $3 million sounded
like a good price to me.

720
00:37:38,255 --> 00:37:40,621
Oh, is that right?

721
00:37:41,224 --> 00:37:44,022
Oh, well, in that case,
I have been very misinformed.

722
00:37:44,227 --> 00:37:46,286
Excuse you? Yes.

723
00:37:46,363 --> 00:37:49,264
Well, listen.
Say, I'd like to come out and see you anyway.

724
00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:50,322
Is that all right?

725
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:51,897
What's good for you?

726
00:37:51,968 --> 00:37:55,460
Well, I'm about to close up
shop and go out for the evening.

727
00:37:56,106 --> 00:37:57,698
How about first thing
in the morning?

728
00:37:57,774 --> 00:38:00,504
First thing in the morning.
Tomorrow. Bye.

729
00:38:36,747 --> 00:38:39,307
Hello. Anybody home?

730
00:38:41,618 --> 00:38:45,110
Hey there, fella, what's your name?
Fluff? Fifi?

731
00:38:46,323 --> 00:38:47,483
All right.

732
00:38:48,925 --> 00:38:50,119
Bad dog.

733
00:39:24,194 --> 00:39:26,219
(DOG GROWLING)

734
00:40:13,910 --> 00:40:15,002
Sit.

735
00:40:38,001 --> 00:40:39,832
(GROWLING)

736
00:40:43,707 --> 00:40:44,696
(BARKING)

737
00:40:44,975 --> 00:40:45,999
Stay.

738
00:40:53,350 --> 00:40:54,715
Watch your dogs.

739
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,111
Boy, oh, shut it.

740
00:41:17,140 --> 00:41:19,074
Come on. Smile.
Say, "Flesh."

741
00:41:23,113 --> 00:41:24,842
Look, defenseless babies.

742
00:41:30,153 --> 00:41:31,814
Fell for the oldest trick
in the book.

743
00:41:54,110 --> 00:41:55,907
(SINGING)
♪ Strangers in the night

744
00:41:56,313 --> 00:41:57,940
♪ Exchanging clothing

745
00:41:58,615 --> 00:42:01,049
♪ Strangers in my pants

746
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,010
MAN: Surprise!

747
00:42:05,088 --> 00:42:06,817
What the hell's...
Move!

748
00:42:06,990 --> 00:42:08,457
Police. Spread 'em!

749
00:42:09,593 --> 00:42:10,582
Got a gun, creep?

750
00:42:10,660 --> 00:42:12,355
Shamu's got one.
Borrow his.

751
00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:15,327
What have we here?
That's my dick.

752
00:42:15,398 --> 00:42:16,888
Oh, funny boy.

753
00:42:17,434 --> 00:42:18,833
What have we here?

754
00:42:19,336 --> 00:42:21,031
Looks like heroin, Gene.

755
00:42:21,104 --> 00:42:23,095
Hey. You just planted that.

756
00:42:23,173 --> 00:42:24,538
What'd you say?

757
00:42:24,608 --> 00:42:26,132
You fellows wanna
read me my rights?

758
00:42:26,209 --> 00:42:27,233
You have the right
to remain silent.

759
00:42:27,310 --> 00:42:28,402
Okay.

760
00:42:28,511 --> 00:42:30,536
You have the right to have
your face kicked in by me.

761
00:42:30,614 --> 00:42:31,638
Nice.

762
00:42:31,715 --> 00:42:34,650
You have the right to have
your balls stomped by him.

763
00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:35,810
I'll waive my rights.

764
00:42:45,395 --> 00:42:47,192
<font color="
move it along.

765
00:42:47,263 --> 00:42:48,730
What's the booking, gentlemen?

766
00:42:48,798 --> 00:42:51,528
Possession of narcotics.
And the chief wants to talk to him.

767
00:42:51,601 --> 00:42:54,593
Oh, yeah? You'll like Chief Karlin.
He's a nice man.

768
00:42:55,572 --> 00:42:58,200
Yeah, I hear he's mellowed out a
lot since he came out of the closet.

769
00:42:58,274 --> 00:43:00,538
You better take his picture
while he still has a face.

770
00:43:00,610 --> 00:43:02,635
That hurts.
You've been hurting me.

771
00:43:04,447 --> 00:43:05,880
Give him a buzz.

772
00:43:05,949 --> 00:43:07,177
KARLIN: Come in.

773
00:43:08,218 --> 00:43:09,617
Here he is, Chief.

774
00:43:12,455 --> 00:43:14,787
Easy, fellas.
I'll be with you in a moment.

775
00:43:25,335 --> 00:43:27,030
(SIGHING)

776
00:43:28,571 --> 00:43:32,063
You decorate this place yourself, or did Mrs.
Chief of Police help out?

777
00:43:34,144 --> 00:43:36,544
So, what's your name?

778
00:43:37,247 --> 00:43:38,305
Fletch.

779
00:43:38,381 --> 00:43:39,541
Full name.

780
00:43:39,616 --> 00:43:41,379
Fletch. F. Fletch.

781
00:43:42,385 --> 00:43:43,977
I see.

782
00:43:44,054 --> 00:43:46,386
And what do you do
for a living, Mr. Fletch?

783
00:43:46,456 --> 00:43:47,753
I'm a shepherd.

784
00:43:49,159 --> 00:43:52,356
Officers, could you excuse us
for a few moments?

785
00:43:53,963 --> 00:43:57,490
Yeah. Why don't you guys go down
to the gym and pump each other?

786
00:44:00,537 --> 00:44:02,698
Why are you doing this,
Mr. Fletch?

787
00:44:03,540 --> 00:44:04,734
I like men.

788
00:44:05,075 --> 00:44:06,770
I like to be manhandled.

789
00:44:08,611 --> 00:44:09,771
I like you.

790
00:44:11,381 --> 00:44:14,077
For a gentleman who was just found
holding a bagful of heroin...

791
00:44:14,150 --> 00:44:15,276
That was planted on me.

792
00:44:15,351 --> 00:44:17,751
We're looking at
five years here, maybe 10.

793
00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:20,085
Now, is that what you want,
Jane Doe?

794
00:44:20,156 --> 00:44:21,282
(CHUCKLING)

795
00:44:21,357 --> 00:44:23,154
Your editor phoned me

796
00:44:23,226 --> 00:44:25,717
to respond to allegations
you're about to print

797
00:44:25,795 --> 00:44:28,662
concerning police involvement
in narcotics dealings.

798
00:44:28,732 --> 00:44:29,926
Uh-uh.

799
00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:32,466
I'm about to bust
that beach wide open.

800
00:44:32,769 --> 00:44:35,033
And I don't need some penny
ante Woodward and Bernstein

801
00:44:35,105 --> 00:44:37,596
to come along
and get in the way of my men.

802
00:44:37,841 --> 00:44:39,468
Well, your men may just be
involved in all of this.

803
00:44:39,542 --> 00:44:41,772
I would think
that might interest you.

804
00:44:41,845 --> 00:44:43,107
Idiot!

805
00:44:45,515 --> 00:44:47,949
All right.
Strictly off the record, okay?

806
00:44:48,017 --> 00:44:49,177
Yeah, okay.

807
00:44:49,819 --> 00:44:52,515
I got that beach crawling
with undercover cops.

808
00:44:52,856 --> 00:44:54,153
But if you come along
nosing around,

809
00:44:54,224 --> 00:44:56,784
you're gonna make the bad
guys there more cautious.

810
00:44:56,860 --> 00:44:58,384
Makes my job harder.

811
00:44:59,195 --> 00:45:01,925
And listen, if you print
your story this week,

812
00:45:02,866 --> 00:45:05,027
it might get some
of my men killed.

813
00:45:05,769 --> 00:45:07,669
And I can't have that,
Mr. Fletch.

814
00:45:08,705 --> 00:45:10,002
You understand?

815
00:45:10,240 --> 00:45:11,229
Yeah.

816
00:45:11,307 --> 00:45:12,535
I understand.

817
00:45:14,944 --> 00:45:16,741
Well, I got a deadline.

818
00:45:17,781 --> 00:45:19,544
So the name's Karlin
with a "K," right?

819
00:45:19,616 --> 00:45:21,174
Dipshit!

820
00:45:22,619 --> 00:45:24,143
You go back
to that goddamn beach,

821
00:45:24,220 --> 00:45:25,881
and you won't live to regret it!

822
00:45:26,256 --> 00:45:27,348
All right?

823
00:45:28,958 --> 00:45:30,425
Hey, you and Tommy Lasorda.

824
00:45:30,493 --> 00:45:31,517
Yeah.

825
00:45:31,594 --> 00:45:32,618
I hate Tommy Lasorda.

826
00:45:40,670 --> 00:45:41,796
FLETCH: Hey!

827
00:45:44,507 --> 00:45:46,236
KARLIN: It's all right.
I'll take care of it now.

828
00:45:46,576 --> 00:45:49,044
(SINGING)
♪ Swing low, sweet chariot

829
00:45:49,112 --> 00:45:51,103
I'll handle it from here.

830
00:45:52,282 --> 00:45:55,115
♪ Coming for to carry me home

831
00:45:55,785 --> 00:45:57,275
Can't keep me here, Chief.

832
00:45:57,353 --> 00:45:59,480
Maybe I'm not gonna
keep you in here.

833
00:45:59,823 --> 00:46:02,087
Maybe I'm gonna blow
your brains out.

834
00:46:04,527 --> 00:46:05,892
Well, now, I'm no lawyer

835
00:46:05,962 --> 00:46:07,725
but I do believe that's
a violation of my rights.

836
00:46:08,631 --> 00:46:11,725
After I shoot you,
I stick myself in the arm with this knife

837
00:46:11,801 --> 00:46:13,792
then I'll place the knife
in your dead hand.

838
00:46:14,103 --> 00:46:15,365
(CHUCKLING)
Self-defense.

839
00:46:16,306 --> 00:46:19,901
We don't do it much anymore,
but back in the old days...

840
00:46:22,545 --> 00:46:23,773
You're serious.

841
00:46:23,847 --> 00:46:25,109
Ask anybody.

842
00:46:27,250 --> 00:46:28,842
Can I ask anybody now?

843
00:46:29,686 --> 00:46:32,280
How about, can I call my mom,
tell her how much I love her?

844
00:46:32,355 --> 00:46:33,845
I guess not.

845
00:46:45,802 --> 00:46:48,703
I'm a newspaper reporter.
You don't just blow away newspaper reporters.

846
00:46:48,771 --> 00:46:50,500
It's kind of stupid, isn't it?

847
00:46:50,607 --> 00:46:52,302
What'll it be, Fletch?

848
00:46:58,348 --> 00:47:01,715
Hey, I hate the beach
anyway, man.

849
00:47:01,784 --> 00:47:03,513
This isn't even my story.

850
00:47:04,954 --> 00:47:08,890
I've got a deadline on my series on
that off-track betting in the Himalayas.

851
00:47:08,958 --> 00:47:11,825
Smaller story, but I know
you've been following it.

852
00:47:13,930 --> 00:47:17,093
I can tell you have things
under control down there.

853
00:47:17,233 --> 00:47:18,632
Your beach.

854
00:47:26,476 --> 00:47:28,307
Come on out. Come on.

855
00:47:28,511 --> 00:47:29,637
May I? Thank you.

856
00:47:30,246 --> 00:47:31,770
<font color="
What's the matter with you?

857
00:47:31,848 --> 00:47:33,110
Fletch, I'm sorry.

858
00:47:33,182 --> 00:47:35,150
Do you have any idea know
how close to death I came?

859
00:47:35,218 --> 00:47:36,651
Yeah, it's awful.

860
00:47:37,921 --> 00:47:39,286
I mean, the guy had me
alone in a cell

861
00:47:39,355 --> 00:47:41,482
with a gun at my head
and a knife in his hand!

862
00:47:41,557 --> 00:47:43,582
He threatened to kill me, Frank.

863
00:47:43,993 --> 00:47:45,620
Jesus, that's a shame.

864
00:47:46,195 --> 00:47:47,594
He would've blown me away.

865
00:47:47,664 --> 00:47:48,892
Unbelievable.

866
00:47:54,437 --> 00:47:56,337
You don't believe me, do you?

867
00:47:56,406 --> 00:47:57,498
Nope.

868
00:47:58,474 --> 00:47:59,634
He thinks I made it up.

869
00:47:59,709 --> 00:48:00,733
Unbelievable.

870
00:48:00,810 --> 00:48:03,301
Fletch, I need an article
from you by tomorrow.

871
00:48:03,379 --> 00:48:05,040
You believe me, don't you?
Yes, I do.

872
00:48:05,114 --> 00:48:08,015
I don't want any of these unsubstantiated
charges about dope-dealing cops

873
00:48:08,084 --> 00:48:12,487
or any of your horseshit paranoid
fantasies about homicidal police chiefs.

874
00:48:12,555 --> 00:48:14,648
Give me something I can print!

875
00:48:16,426 --> 00:48:17,518
Print this.

876
00:48:20,430 --> 00:48:21,556
Me, too.

877
00:48:22,498 --> 00:48:24,898
Hey, watch it.
You're on thin ice, Larry.

878
00:48:33,409 --> 00:48:35,741
<i>FLETCH: The time had come
to hang out at Boyd Aviation</i>

879
00:48:35,812 --> 00:48:36,870
<i>to meet some of the guys</i>

880
00:48:36,946 --> 00:48:39,847
<i>and to find out what Stanwyk
was doing with that plane.</i>

881
00:48:40,083 --> 00:48:41,243
<i>I splurged.</i>

882
00:48:41,584 --> 00:48:44,382
<i>I invested 49 cents
in a set of novelty teeth.</i>

883
00:48:54,797 --> 00:48:55,889
Hey!

884
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,092
You the guy from Ajax?

885
00:48:58,167 --> 00:48:59,327
Yeah, you bet.

886
00:49:00,036 --> 00:49:01,094
All right.

887
00:49:01,170 --> 00:49:02,467
I thought you were bringing
the eighth.

888
00:49:02,538 --> 00:49:04,733
Yeah. They're on their way.
I'm the supervisor.

889
00:49:04,807 --> 00:49:06,502
I don't carry the stuff.

890
00:49:07,143 --> 00:49:08,838
Who's bringing them, Freddie?

891
00:49:08,911 --> 00:49:10,173
Yeah. Freddie.

892
00:49:10,913 --> 00:49:13,780
MECHANIC: You were supposed to have
been here over an hour ago, boy.

893
00:49:13,916 --> 00:49:16,407
Well, traffic was murder.

894
00:49:16,486 --> 00:49:20,183
You know, one of those manure
spreaders jackknifed on the Santa Ana.

895
00:49:20,423 --> 00:49:21,720
God awful mess.

896
00:49:22,525 --> 00:49:24,220
You should see my shoes.

897
00:49:25,795 --> 00:49:26,887
(EXCLAIMS)

898
00:49:29,732 --> 00:49:31,165
Stanwyk's baby, huh?

899
00:49:31,234 --> 00:49:32,292
Yeah.

900
00:49:33,169 --> 00:49:34,158
Uh-huh.

901
00:49:40,309 --> 00:49:41,674
Looks well-used.

902
00:49:41,744 --> 00:49:43,575
He's back and forth
to Utah every weekend.

903
00:49:43,646 --> 00:49:44,908
Oh, is that right?

904
00:49:45,715 --> 00:49:47,239
What is he, a Mormon?

905
00:49:48,518 --> 00:49:49,985
(LAUGHING)

906
00:49:50,153 --> 00:49:53,782
I don't think he's doing a whole lot
of singing with the Tabernacle Choir.

907
00:49:53,856 --> 00:49:54,880
(MECHANIC CHUCKLING)

908
00:49:54,957 --> 00:49:57,357
These executives, they live high.
Know what I mean?

909
00:49:57,427 --> 00:49:58,655
I sure do.

910
00:50:07,770 --> 00:50:10,603
That's a terrific wing.
I love this shape.

911
00:50:13,476 --> 00:50:15,171
Hey, do us a favor, pal.

912
00:50:15,244 --> 00:50:17,041
Name's Liddy.
Gordon Liddy.

913
00:50:17,780 --> 00:50:20,476
Gord, take a look at the
seventh Fetzer valve, will you?

914
00:50:20,550 --> 00:50:22,347
I think it's been sticking.

915
00:50:23,419 --> 00:50:25,011
Probably the humidity.

916
00:50:26,122 --> 00:50:27,521
That's funny.

917
00:50:27,590 --> 00:50:31,048
No, what I think it is
myself is the bypass line.

918
00:50:32,228 --> 00:50:33,695
It could be
the bypass line. Yeah.

919
00:50:33,763 --> 00:50:35,196
Maybe I should take
a look at it.

920
00:50:40,803 --> 00:50:41,929
Gordo?

921
00:50:42,872 --> 00:50:43,998
Back here?

922
00:50:45,508 --> 00:50:47,533
Don't tell me my business, boy!

923
00:50:48,144 --> 00:50:49,873
Just checking the luggage.

924
00:50:50,646 --> 00:50:51,840
Somebody ought to
clean these windows.

925
00:50:51,914 --> 00:50:55,509
There's a tremendous build-up of
gook all over them. Look at that.

926
00:50:57,153 --> 00:50:58,984
You use a lot of fuel
to go to Utah?

927
00:50:59,055 --> 00:51:00,784
That's what I always ask him.

928
00:51:01,457 --> 00:51:03,584
Burns enough to go to
South America and back.

929
00:51:03,659 --> 00:51:05,286
South America and back.

930
00:51:07,463 --> 00:51:09,021
Is that right?
Yeah.

931
00:51:09,098 --> 00:51:11,157
But I always kid him about it.
I say,

932
00:51:11,234 --> 00:51:15,330
"What are you doing up there?
You doing some stunt flying or something?"

933
00:51:16,405 --> 00:51:17,565
What's he say?

934
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,540
Well, you know,
he don't say nothing.

935
00:51:19,609 --> 00:51:21,099
He just gives me that look.

936
00:51:21,177 --> 00:51:22,974
You know, he's got that look.

937
00:51:23,045 --> 00:51:25,536
Yeah, he don't say nothing.
He just gives him that look.

938
00:51:25,615 --> 00:51:27,344
Well, sure.
He's the boss.

939
00:51:27,683 --> 00:51:30,914
Here, let me take a crack
at this Fetzer here.

940
00:51:33,589 --> 00:51:35,056
Gord.

941
00:51:35,124 --> 00:51:38,787
Yeah, I know where it is.
I'm just getting a bird's-eye view here and...

942
00:51:40,796 --> 00:51:43,526
What do you think?
It's the bypass line, right?

943
00:51:43,833 --> 00:51:45,164
I think it's the bypass line.
Yeah.

944
00:51:45,234 --> 00:51:46,531
I told you.

945
00:51:47,303 --> 00:51:49,464
I'm gonna need some pliers

946
00:51:50,006 --> 00:51:52,099
and a set of 30-weight
ball bearings.

947
00:51:52,175 --> 00:51:53,164
What?

948
00:51:53,242 --> 00:51:54,368
Yeah.

949
00:51:54,911 --> 00:51:56,936
Tell you what.
I gotta go to my truck.

950
00:51:57,013 --> 00:51:58,503
If Fred gets here
before I'm back,

951
00:51:58,581 --> 00:51:59,980
you can tell him
to start without me.

952
00:52:00,049 --> 00:52:02,483
What the hell do you need
ball bearings for?

953
00:52:02,552 --> 00:52:04,315
Oh, come on, guys.

954
00:52:04,754 --> 00:52:07,188
It's so simple.
Maybe you need a refresher course.

955
00:52:07,256 --> 00:52:10,248
Hey, it's all ball bearings
nowadays.

956
00:52:13,663 --> 00:52:15,096
Now, you prepare
that Fetzer valve

957
00:52:15,164 --> 00:52:17,564
with some 3-in-one oil
and some gauze pads.

958
00:52:18,401 --> 00:52:20,494
And I'm gonna need
about 10 quarts of antifreeze,

959
00:52:20,570 --> 00:52:22,037
preferably Prestone.

960
00:52:22,905 --> 00:52:25,874
No, make that Quaker State.

961
00:52:27,009 --> 00:52:29,443
And wash those windows.
They've got filth and muck on them.

962
00:52:29,879 --> 00:52:31,107
(GREETING IN SPANISH)

963
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:33,043
Oh, hi.
Where's Mrs. Stanwyk?

964
00:52:33,115 --> 00:52:34,514
In her cabana, senor.

965
00:52:34,584 --> 00:52:36,848
Oh, yeah. I'm supposed to meet
her in the cabana 6, right?

966
00:52:36,919 --> 00:52:38,386
Cabana 1.
One. Right.

967
00:52:38,454 --> 00:52:39,944
You would like something
to eat or drink, senor?

968
00:52:40,022 --> 00:52:41,284
Actually, I would.

969
00:52:41,357 --> 00:52:42,619
Charge it
to the Underhills, senor?

970
00:52:42,692 --> 00:52:44,683
Yeah. That's right.

971
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:45,920
Do you have any caviar?

972
00:52:45,995 --> 00:52:48,486
Si, senor. Beluga.
But it is $80 a portion.

973
00:52:49,565 --> 00:52:51,430
Well, I better just take
two portions of that.

974
00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:52,899
How's the Lobster Thermidor?

975
00:52:52,969 --> 00:52:54,061
I recommend it, senor.

976
00:52:54,136 --> 00:52:55,296
Good. That'll be fine.

977
00:52:55,371 --> 00:52:57,931
Bring two bottles of Dom
Perignon to Cabana 1.

978
00:52:58,007 --> 00:52:59,031
Very good, senor.

979
00:52:59,108 --> 00:53:00,871
And put down $30
for yourself, huh?

980
00:53:00,943 --> 00:53:01,967
(THANKING IN SPANISH)

981
00:53:02,044 --> 00:53:04,035
This is the nicest place.

982
00:53:13,289 --> 00:53:14,586
Who is it?

983
00:53:14,657 --> 00:53:15,919
FLETCH: It's John.

984
00:53:16,626 --> 00:53:18,093
John who?

985
00:53:18,294 --> 00:53:21,161
It's John. John Levin...
I don't remember.

986
00:53:21,230 --> 00:53:22,527
John Cocktoastin?

987
00:53:22,598 --> 00:53:23,622
Yeah.

988
00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:25,494
Hi.

989
00:53:27,603 --> 00:53:28,695
Hi.

990
00:53:30,439 --> 00:53:32,270
I was hoping you'd say that.

991
00:53:33,276 --> 00:53:35,437
I just got out of the shower.

992
00:53:35,511 --> 00:53:38,105
Yeah. Can I borrow your towel
for a sec?

993
00:53:38,180 --> 00:53:40,011
My car just hit a water buffalo.

994
00:53:41,350 --> 00:53:43,079
Nice place you have here.

995
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:47,414
I'm surprised to see you.
What are you doing here?

996
00:53:47,490 --> 00:53:49,390
I ordered some lunch.

997
00:53:49,458 --> 00:53:50,652
You ordered it here?

998
00:53:50,726 --> 00:53:53,286
Well, I knew this is where
my mouth would be.

999
00:53:55,498 --> 00:53:56,965
I really should change.

1000
00:53:57,033 --> 00:54:00,196
No, I think you should stay the
same wonderful person you are today.

1001
00:54:00,269 --> 00:54:01,861
I mean put clothes on.

1002
00:54:01,937 --> 00:54:04,531
No, really,
make yourself comfortable.

1003
00:54:04,607 --> 00:54:06,404
Are you always this forward?

1004
00:54:06,475 --> 00:54:08,340
Only with wet, married women.

1005
00:54:09,278 --> 00:54:10,267
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1006
00:54:10,713 --> 00:54:12,374
Your turn at the door!

1007
00:54:18,788 --> 00:54:21,313
Okay. Very good, gentlemen.
Come right in.

1008
00:54:21,824 --> 00:54:23,416
There you go.
Right in this way.

1009
00:54:25,428 --> 00:54:28,659
Right in here. That's good.
That's very nice.

1010
00:54:29,398 --> 00:54:30,626
Want I set up?

1011
00:54:30,700 --> 00:54:32,395
No, thank you.
I'll take care of it.

1012
00:54:32,468 --> 00:54:33,935
Give each other $20, okay?

1013
00:54:34,003 --> 00:54:35,493
Put it on Underhill.

1014
00:54:35,604 --> 00:54:36,901
(THANKING IN SPANISH)

1015
00:54:36,972 --> 00:54:38,599
(FLETCH SPEAKING
NONSENSICAL SPANISH)

1016
00:54:41,510 --> 00:54:43,410
Oh, this is beautiful.

1017
00:54:44,213 --> 00:54:45,908
(EXCLAIMS)
There we have it.

1018
00:54:47,817 --> 00:54:49,614
All this goes
on the Underhills' bill?

1019
00:54:49,685 --> 00:54:51,949
Yeah, well, I saved his life
during the war.

1020
00:54:52,021 --> 00:54:53,511
You were in the war?

1021
00:54:53,589 --> 00:54:54,817
No, he was.
I got him out.

1022
00:54:57,827 --> 00:55:00,523
Wow, I can't believe I'm doing this.
This is great.

1023
00:55:01,063 --> 00:55:02,621
Let's eat.
Let's eat.

1024
00:55:03,733 --> 00:55:05,826
Your bill, senor.
Oh, thank you.

1025
00:55:06,936 --> 00:55:08,870
$400 for lunch?

1026
00:55:08,971 --> 00:55:09,960
Your guest, senor.

1027
00:55:10,072 --> 00:55:12,870
What guest?
We didn't have any guests here today.

1028
00:55:13,342 --> 00:55:14,775
Two bottles of Dom Perignon?

1029
00:55:14,844 --> 00:55:16,368
$100 a pop!

1030
00:55:16,445 --> 00:55:18,140
Jesus H. Christ!
Where is he?

1031
00:55:18,214 --> 00:55:19,476
He is with Ms. Stanwyk.

1032
00:55:19,548 --> 00:55:21,379
Where's she?
Cabana 1.

1033
00:55:21,517 --> 00:55:23,246
Do you mind if I ask you
a question?

1034
00:55:23,452 --> 00:55:24,441
Depends on the question.

1035
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:25,612
Want some more champagne?

1036
00:55:25,688 --> 00:55:26,746
Yes.

1037
00:55:26,822 --> 00:55:28,016
Are you still in love with Alan?

1038
00:55:28,090 --> 00:55:29,250
No.

1039
00:55:29,892 --> 00:55:31,723
I mean, no,
you can't ask me that question.

1040
00:55:31,994 --> 00:55:33,222
Ask me another one.

1041
00:55:33,763 --> 00:55:35,424
Why'd you let me in?

1042
00:55:37,133 --> 00:55:38,657
Because I'm bored.

1043
00:55:39,902 --> 00:55:42,564
If you're so bored,
why didn't you go to Utah with Alan?

1044
00:55:42,638 --> 00:55:45,106
Well, Utah's not exactly
a cure for boredom.

1045
00:55:46,175 --> 00:55:47,472
That's a good point.

1046
00:55:47,610 --> 00:55:50,408
I mean, I've never even been there.
I shouldn't say that.

1047
00:55:50,479 --> 00:55:52,071
What about his parents?
They live there.

1048
00:55:52,148 --> 00:55:54,878
He hasn't seen them for years
so I've never met them.

1049
00:55:54,950 --> 00:55:56,440
They don't get along well?

1050
00:55:56,519 --> 00:55:57,986
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1051
00:55:59,321 --> 00:56:00,345
Mrs. Stanwyk.

1052
00:56:00,423 --> 00:56:01,617
Yes?

1053
00:56:01,857 --> 00:56:04,883
I'm sorry to disturb you.
It's Ted Underhill here.

1054
00:56:06,228 --> 00:56:09,220
Thanks for a great time.
I gotta get out of here.

1055
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:11,500
Wait a minute.
What is this?

1056
00:56:11,567 --> 00:56:13,398
Someone of your acquaintance

1057
00:56:13,469 --> 00:56:15,835
has charged a $400 lunch
to my account.

1058
00:56:15,905 --> 00:56:17,873
John, you don't know
the Underhills?

1059
00:56:17,940 --> 00:56:21,068
I'd appreciate the opportunity of
discussing this matter with you.

1060
00:56:21,143 --> 00:56:22,838
(IN HIGH-PITCH VOICE)
I'm just out of the shower.

1061
00:56:22,912 --> 00:56:24,971
Can you wait a minute?
I just have to wee-wee.

1062
00:56:25,047 --> 00:56:26,605
Yes, of course.

1063
00:56:28,918 --> 00:56:30,385
Why did you do it?

1064
00:56:30,453 --> 00:56:32,512
Well, I don't think it would be
fair for you to pay the bill.

1065
00:56:32,588 --> 00:56:34,556
A $400 lunch tab?

1066
00:56:34,623 --> 00:56:36,989
That's what I mean. It's outrageous, isn't it?
It's way over the line.

1067
00:56:37,059 --> 00:56:38,219
I'll cover it.

1068
00:56:38,561 --> 00:56:39,823
Wait, you can't go out
looking that.

1069
00:56:39,895 --> 00:56:41,760
He might spot you.
Hold on.

1070
00:56:42,064 --> 00:56:44,089
You look like
you're the same size as Alan.

1071
00:56:44,834 --> 00:56:45,858
Put this on.

1072
00:56:45,935 --> 00:56:47,960
Nice suit.
Just return it.

1073
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:52,735
Any other surprises?

1074
00:56:53,309 --> 00:56:54,469
Yeah.

1075
00:56:54,844 --> 00:56:57,438
My name is not John Cocktoastin.

1076
00:56:58,914 --> 00:57:00,814
And I wasn't at your wedding.

1077
00:57:01,584 --> 00:57:02,608
Who are you?

1078
00:57:02,685 --> 00:57:03,947
I'm Irwin Fletcher.

1079
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:07,421
And I write a newspaper column
under the name of Jane Doe.

1080
00:57:07,490 --> 00:57:08,787
And it's not
the food section, Gail.

1081
00:57:08,858 --> 00:57:09,847
So?

1082
00:57:09,925 --> 00:57:11,358
So...

1083
00:57:13,929 --> 00:57:16,056
Your husband hired me
to kill him.

1084
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:19,165
UNDERHILL: Mrs. Stanwyk!

1085
00:57:20,402 --> 00:57:22,233
Mrs. Stanwyk!
In a minute!

1086
00:57:23,939 --> 00:57:26,567
Enough surprises.
What the hell are you talking about?

1087
00:57:26,642 --> 00:57:27,836
Sit down.

1088
00:57:30,546 --> 00:57:33,777
Your husband told me he was dying of cancer.
Is that true?

1089
00:57:34,283 --> 00:57:35,648
No. It's not true.

1090
00:57:36,519 --> 00:57:39,147
That ranch property you thought
you were buying in Utah?

1091
00:57:39,622 --> 00:57:40,611
Not true.

1092
00:57:42,224 --> 00:57:43,748
He's a bad guy, Gail.

1093
00:57:44,159 --> 00:57:46,491
He's involved in something
very big and very bad.

1094
00:57:46,562 --> 00:57:48,257
Do you know a guy
named Jim Swarthout?

1095
00:57:48,330 --> 00:57:50,730
Yeah. Swarthout's the man
who sold us the ranch.

1096
00:57:50,799 --> 00:57:52,096
Wrong.

1097
00:57:52,234 --> 00:57:54,794
He sold you $3,000
worth of scrub brush.

1098
00:57:55,204 --> 00:57:56,728
No. I saw the deed.

1099
00:57:56,805 --> 00:57:58,204
You saw a forgery.

1100
00:58:00,976 --> 00:58:02,568
This is the real deed.

1101
00:58:03,212 --> 00:58:04,941
See, there's Swarthout's name.

1102
00:58:05,281 --> 00:58:07,681
Now, if this were at all
legible, you'd see what I meant.

1103
00:58:07,750 --> 00:58:10,241
Look, here's the dog
that tried to bite me.

1104
00:58:11,353 --> 00:58:13,344
Here's the motel I stayed in,
there's my car.

1105
00:58:13,422 --> 00:58:14,616
The dog tried to bite that.

1106
00:58:14,690 --> 00:58:15,918
Here's the Mormon Tabernacle.

1107
00:58:15,991 --> 00:58:17,322
Stop it. Stop.

1108
00:58:17,993 --> 00:58:19,483
He's told me a lot of things.

1109
00:58:19,562 --> 00:58:21,530
So far, not one of them
has been true.

1110
00:58:23,032 --> 00:58:24,795
I'm sorry to have to tell you
these things.

1111
00:58:24,867 --> 00:58:25,891
UNDERHILL: Mrs. Stanwyk!

1112
00:58:25,968 --> 00:58:27,299
Wait! Just wait a minute!

1113
00:58:28,103 --> 00:58:29,695
I'm gonna call my father.
He'll know...

1114
00:58:29,772 --> 00:58:31,171
No, you can't.

1115
00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:34,004
Gail, please. Look, I know you don't
know me from a hole in the wall

1116
00:58:34,076 --> 00:58:35,805
but you've gotta trust me.

1117
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:39,809
Just give me 24 hours.

1118
00:58:39,915 --> 00:58:40,904
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1119
00:58:40,983 --> 00:58:42,473
UNDERHILL:
Mrs. Stanwyk!

1120
00:58:44,453 --> 00:58:45,818
You a Laker fan?

1121
00:58:47,156 --> 00:58:48,453
No.

1122
00:58:49,091 --> 00:58:50,319
Yeah, I'm coming.

1123
00:58:50,392 --> 00:58:51,381
Just a minute!

1124
00:58:51,460 --> 00:58:52,484
I'll take you to a game.

1125
00:58:52,661 --> 00:58:54,561
Mrs. Stanwyk!

1126
00:58:57,132 --> 00:58:59,430
Sorry. Thanks. Bye.

1127
00:58:59,501 --> 00:59:01,025
Wait. What are you
talking about?

1128
00:59:01,103 --> 00:59:03,833
I'm talking about how much I'd
like to take you to a Laker game.

1129
00:59:03,906 --> 00:59:05,066
If you need me, call the paper.

1130
00:59:05,140 --> 00:59:07,506
What am I supposed to do
for the next 24 hours?

1131
00:59:07,576 --> 00:59:08,600
Act natural.

1132
00:59:08,677 --> 00:59:10,508
I was afraid you'd say that.

1133
01:00:47,376 --> 01:00:48,673
Oh, Jesus.

1134
01:00:49,712 --> 01:00:51,373
What's he doing with the Chief?

1135
01:00:51,447 --> 01:00:56,214
<i>FLETCH: Seeing Bone Cancer and Chief Karlin
together might lead to a Page 1 item.</i>

1136
01:00:56,285 --> 01:00:57,377
<i>But without any real evidence,</i>

1137
01:00:57,453 --> 01:00:59,819
<i>Frank wouldn't even print it
in the want ads.</i>

1138
01:00:59,888 --> 01:01:02,721
<i>I had to keep digging,
without a shovel.</i>

1139
01:01:26,281 --> 01:01:28,181
(POLICE SIRENS BLARING)

1140
01:01:41,430 --> 01:01:43,728
Afternoon, Smog Patrol.
Had your emissions checked?

1141
01:01:43,799 --> 01:01:45,426
No, sir.
Fluorocarbons? Ozone?

1142
01:01:45,501 --> 01:01:47,298
No, sir.
Well, let's check it out.

1143
01:01:47,369 --> 01:01:49,394
What do you say?
Giddyup.

1144
01:01:50,472 --> 01:01:51,939
Smells pretty good.

1145
01:01:54,877 --> 01:01:56,742
(WOMAN CHATTERING
ON POLICE RADIO)

1146
01:01:58,781 --> 01:02:00,214
That's him.

1147
01:02:02,451 --> 01:02:03,941
Unit 12, in pursuit.

1148
01:02:10,993 --> 01:02:14,224
Why don't you catch some shuteye?
Just lay back and enjoy.

1149
01:02:14,363 --> 01:02:15,489
(SCREAMING)

1150
01:02:15,564 --> 01:02:17,623
Try to breathe
through your nose.

1151
01:02:28,677 --> 01:02:30,542
(SIREN WAILING)

1152
01:02:33,615 --> 01:02:35,549
I always use a little
chewing gum on these rides.

1153
01:02:35,617 --> 01:02:37,050
It filters out the pollutants.

1154
01:02:37,119 --> 01:02:38,279
Oh, shit!

1155
01:02:38,353 --> 01:02:40,821
Of course you've got some good grillwork there.
Keep out the ozone.

1156
01:02:40,889 --> 01:02:42,754
I gotta get this thing up to 95,

1157
01:02:42,858 --> 01:02:44,826
check out
the fluorocarbon output.

1158
01:02:47,396 --> 01:02:49,455
Don't worry about
the speed limit here.

1159
01:02:49,531 --> 01:02:51,328
That's why we've got
the police escort.

1160
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,459
You a cop?
As far as you know.

1161
01:02:54,469 --> 01:02:56,835
Are you gonna take me
to jail for car theft?

1162
01:02:56,905 --> 01:02:57,894
Why, did you steal the car?

1163
01:02:57,973 --> 01:02:59,406
I sure did!

1164
01:02:59,474 --> 01:03:01,271
Well, I'm not even sure
that's a crime anymore.

1165
01:03:01,343 --> 01:03:02,674
There've been a lot of changes
in the law.

1166
01:03:02,744 --> 01:03:06,510
<i>OFFICER ON LOUDSPEAKER: Pull to
the right and stop. Pull over.</i>

1167
01:03:06,815 --> 01:03:08,749
Hey, look out for that truck!

1168
01:03:08,851 --> 01:03:10,443
(SHOUTING)

1169
01:03:13,021 --> 01:03:15,251
Nothing, it's just a little
game I play with my buddies.

1170
01:03:15,324 --> 01:03:18,225
Kind of a hide-and-seek kind of a thing.
They love it.

1171
01:03:20,796 --> 01:03:22,354
What a day!

1172
01:03:22,431 --> 01:03:24,695
Must be a stage two right
about here.

1173
01:03:24,766 --> 01:03:26,461
Do a little slipstreaming and...

1174
01:03:26,535 --> 01:03:29,231
Whoa! There's Fred!
Won't he be surprised!

1175
01:03:39,815 --> 01:03:40,804
KID: Shit!

1176
01:03:43,085 --> 01:03:46,452
<i>OFFICER: Can't you hear me?
I said pull over...</i>

1177
01:03:47,222 --> 01:03:49,554
(OFFICER SHOUTING)

1178
01:03:49,625 --> 01:03:51,286
Uh-oh.

1179
01:03:55,063 --> 01:03:56,758
You got a license?

1180
01:03:56,832 --> 01:03:58,459
I didn't bring it with me.
Do you have one?

1181
01:03:58,533 --> 01:03:59,591
No.

1182
01:03:59,668 --> 01:04:01,101
Pull over, buddy!

1183
01:04:01,169 --> 01:04:03,034
<font color="
how's the herpes? It hurt?

1184
01:04:03,105 --> 01:04:04,902
Pull over!

1185
01:04:04,973 --> 01:04:07,305
I did pull over before.
I'll pull over later.

1186
01:04:07,376 --> 01:04:09,606
Pull over!

1187
01:04:09,678 --> 01:04:12,340
All right, that's it.
You can turn your bike in at the next depot.

1188
01:04:12,414 --> 01:04:14,405
You're a disgrace to the force!

1189
01:04:14,483 --> 01:04:16,451
(KID SCREAMING)

1190
01:04:34,836 --> 01:04:36,633
Get going. Get the door.

1191
01:04:45,881 --> 01:04:48,406
Congratulations.
You passed the test.

1192
01:04:48,483 --> 01:04:52,146
Raise your left hand, please.
My men will be right with you.

1193
01:05:07,769 --> 01:05:09,669
(HUMMING)

1194
01:05:15,844 --> 01:05:17,937
<font color="

1195
01:05:23,919 --> 01:05:27,480
<i>MAN: Thelma Noble,
Ellis Lee Hereford,</i>

1196
01:05:28,256 --> 01:05:31,521
<i>Lee Weaver and Harold Ausley.</i>

1197
01:05:33,428 --> 01:05:36,295
<i>I would like you to meet our
friends here on the dais.</i>

1198
01:05:36,365 --> 01:05:38,424
<i>So please hold your applause
until I'm finished.</i>

1199
01:05:38,567 --> 01:05:39,556
<i>To my left is Kitty Domaine...</i>

1200
01:05:39,668 --> 01:05:41,226
More coffee? There you go.

1201
01:05:41,303 --> 01:05:43,100
<i>...Selby Desner,</i>

1202
01:05:43,171 --> 01:05:46,902
<i>Barbara Wattell, Walter Smith,</i>

1203
01:05:47,776 --> 01:05:50,870
<i>Martha Sterling
and Paul Fleming.</i>

1204
01:05:50,946 --> 01:05:53,710
<i>And to my right, Michael Kenyon,</i>

1205
01:05:54,883 --> 01:05:58,341
<i>Olivia D. Williams,
Otto Bailey,</i>

1206
01:05:58,420 --> 01:05:59,887
<i>Bea Dorfman.</i>

1207
01:06:00,222 --> 01:06:05,285
<i>And now, the Father
of Internal Bushings,</i>

1208
01:06:06,028 --> 01:06:08,622
<i>our very own and beloved leader.</i>

1209
01:06:08,697 --> 01:06:11,165
<i>A man who needs no introduction!</i>

1210
01:06:11,233 --> 01:06:13,224
Thank you very much, Sammy.
Thank you!

1211
01:06:13,301 --> 01:06:14,893
I couldn't wait.

1212
01:06:14,970 --> 01:06:16,301
That was
a very nice introduction,

1213
01:06:16,371 --> 01:06:19,397
and I am very thrilled
and proud to be here today.

1214
01:06:19,474 --> 01:06:21,305
It's been a wonderful
ceremony so far.

1215
01:06:21,376 --> 01:06:25,369
Here on behalf of our own
Fred "The Dorf" Dorfman!

1216
01:06:27,215 --> 01:06:28,273
Who is he?

1217
01:06:28,350 --> 01:06:32,013
Many of you don't know that Fred
was darn near death recently.

1218
01:06:32,087 --> 01:06:35,921
And he wasn't ashamed to admit
to me that he'd had syphilis.

1219
01:06:35,991 --> 01:06:38,619
Thank God he stopped it
in its tracks.

1220
01:06:40,062 --> 01:06:42,997
I must tell you that it
takes a lot for a man

1221
01:06:44,199 --> 01:06:47,327
to admit where he got it
from and how he got it.

1222
01:06:47,402 --> 01:06:50,269
I must say, look at him today.
Fred, you look just wonderful.

1223
01:06:50,338 --> 01:06:53,535
The nose looks normal again.
The face has come back into shape.

1224
01:06:53,608 --> 01:06:56,270
And he's not drooling anymore,
it's a good sign.

1225
01:06:56,344 --> 01:06:58,209
And hats off to Marge, his wife,

1226
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:00,111
because that
whole experience there,

1227
01:07:00,182 --> 01:07:03,481
the two or three weeks that she stayed
at Trembling Hills has paid off.

1228
01:07:03,552 --> 01:07:06,783
No more alcohol
or sedatives in her life.

1229
01:07:06,855 --> 01:07:09,415
There's so many other things
that I wanna tell you about Fred,

1230
01:07:09,491 --> 01:07:12,016
things that maybe many of you
already know.

1231
01:07:13,295 --> 01:07:16,025
<i>Sammy, you're not going
to sing for us, are you?</i>

1232
01:07:16,665 --> 01:07:20,658
<i>Did you know that Fred spent
a good deal of his life</i>

1233
01:07:20,735 --> 01:07:25,399
<i>honoring a profession that has
gone largely unsung around here?</i>

1234
01:07:25,474 --> 01:07:26,907
<i>Some of those boys
are here tonight.</i>

1235
01:07:26,975 --> 01:07:28,670
<i>The profession, of course,
is law enforcement.</i>

1236
01:07:28,743 --> 01:07:30,574
<i>I know Fred feels this way,</i>

1237
01:07:31,113 --> 01:07:33,445
<i>that too often our feelings
are locked in</i>

1238
01:07:33,515 --> 01:07:35,676
<i>and we feel restrained
and perhaps even embarrassed</i>

1239
01:07:35,750 --> 01:07:38,378
<i>to actually reach out and
touch an officer of the law.</i>

1240
01:07:38,453 --> 01:07:40,250
<i>After all, they are people,
aren't they?</i>

1241
01:07:40,322 --> 01:07:43,951
<i>So why not stand up and pat them on the back?
Go ahead, reach out.</i>

1242
01:07:44,025 --> 01:07:45,014
<i>Go ahead!</i>

1243
01:07:45,093 --> 01:07:48,290
<i>Shake hands with any one of the guys
you see here, these men in blue.</i>

1244
01:07:48,363 --> 01:07:50,888
<i>Hug a cop! Yeah, go ahead.
I said it.</i>

1245
01:07:50,966 --> 01:07:52,695
<i>Yeah!
That's a wonderful feeling!</i>

1246
01:07:52,767 --> 01:07:54,792
<i>I am so proud tonight!</i>

1247
01:07:54,870 --> 01:07:59,603
<i>(SINGING)
♪ Oh, say, can you see</i>

1248
01:07:59,674 --> 01:08:04,702
<i>♪ By the dawn's early light</i>

1249
01:08:04,779 --> 01:08:09,614
<i>♪ What so proudly we hail'd</i>

1250
01:08:09,684 --> 01:08:12,448
<i>♪ At the twilight's
last gleaming</i>

1251
01:08:12,521 --> 01:08:14,148
<i>Hip, hip, hooray!</i>

1252
01:08:14,222 --> 01:08:16,087
Hip, hip, hooray!
ALL: Hooray!

1253
01:08:16,158 --> 01:08:17,489
Hooray! Hooray!

1254
01:08:19,494 --> 01:08:21,621
(CROWD CHEERING)

1255
01:08:25,467 --> 01:08:28,493
Mr. Stanwyk,
you are confirmed on Pan Am Flight 441

1256
01:08:28,570 --> 01:08:32,097
to Rio de Janeiro tomorrow
evening, 11:00 p.m., first class.

1257
01:08:32,174 --> 01:08:33,801
That's terrific.
Thank you.

1258
01:08:33,875 --> 01:08:35,308
You reconfirmed this morning.

1259
01:08:35,377 --> 01:08:36,469
You bet I did.

1260
01:08:36,545 --> 01:08:38,376
I'm a bear for detail.

1261
01:08:38,747 --> 01:08:40,908
I hope there's nobody
next to me.

1262
01:08:40,982 --> 01:08:42,609
You see,
I always travel first class

1263
01:08:42,684 --> 01:08:44,549
and I take both seats up.

1264
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:48,021
I'm in bridge work.
Bridge construction.

1265
01:08:48,089 --> 01:08:51,388
These fold-outs take a tremendous
amount of space up and I need the space.

1266
01:08:51,459 --> 01:08:53,290
I'm afraid there is someone
sitting next to you.

1267
01:08:53,361 --> 01:08:58,060
Oh, for God don don!
Who is it? Mr. Sinilindon?

1268
01:08:59,334 --> 01:09:01,199
No. The name is Cavanaugh.

1269
01:09:01,703 --> 01:09:02,795
Cavanaugh?

1270
01:09:02,871 --> 01:09:04,532
Oh. Is that Morris or Pierre?

1271
01:09:05,874 --> 01:09:07,865
Sally Ann Cavanaugh.

1272
01:09:07,943 --> 01:09:10,070
Sally Ann? Well, terrific.

1273
01:09:10,612 --> 01:09:13,046
In fact, you purchased the
ticket for Miss Cavanaugh.

1274
01:09:13,114 --> 01:09:16,015
Doesn't mean I want her
sitting next to me, does it?

1275
01:09:17,285 --> 01:09:18,775
I'm sorry, the flight's full.

1276
01:09:18,853 --> 01:09:20,343
She's connecting out of Provo.

1277
01:09:21,690 --> 01:09:23,555
Oh. All right, fine.

1278
01:09:24,292 --> 01:09:26,089
Provo, Spain?

1279
01:09:26,161 --> 01:09:27,219
Utah.

1280
01:09:27,829 --> 01:09:28,853
Utah!

1281
01:09:29,297 --> 01:09:32,858
FLETCH: Listen, Frank,
don't give me any crap about the beach story.

1282
01:09:32,934 --> 01:09:34,333
I'm at the airport.

1283
01:09:34,402 --> 01:09:35,528
<i><font color="
The airport?</i>

1284
01:09:35,604 --> 01:09:38,038
Listen, there are at least
two dozen cops after my ass.

1285
01:09:38,106 --> 01:09:40,199
I can't go to my house,
I can't go to the office.

1286
01:09:40,275 --> 01:09:41,708
I'm a man
without a country, Frank.

1287
01:09:41,776 --> 01:09:44,438
Fletch, if these cops are really after
you, come in here.

1288
01:09:44,512 --> 01:09:45,536
You'll be okay.

1289
01:09:45,614 --> 01:09:48,447
I couldn't even get through
the front door.

1290
01:09:48,516 --> 01:09:50,245
Listen, I'm going to Utah.

1291
01:09:50,418 --> 01:09:52,716
You go to Utah,
you stay in Utah.

1292
01:09:52,787 --> 01:09:55,620
I'm turning the story over
to a professional reporter.

1293
01:09:55,690 --> 01:09:59,182
Frank, The story is Utah.
Trust me.

1294
01:09:59,261 --> 01:10:02,094
You're going to Utah?
Fine, fine, fine.

1295
01:10:02,163 --> 01:10:04,996
If your story is not on my desk by
11:30, you're out of a job.

1296
01:10:46,174 --> 01:10:48,108
(DOORBELL RINGING)

1297
01:11:34,823 --> 01:11:35,983
Cujo?

1298
01:12:50,365 --> 01:12:52,424
Who the hell are you?

1299
01:12:52,500 --> 01:12:53,762
Get up!

1300
01:12:54,669 --> 01:12:55,931
I'm up.

1301
01:12:57,305 --> 01:12:58,397
Door was unlocked.

1302
01:12:58,473 --> 01:12:59,804
Lock's busted.

1303
01:12:59,874 --> 01:13:01,569
Well, there you have it.

1304
01:13:02,677 --> 01:13:05,111
I work for the landlord.

1305
01:13:05,180 --> 01:13:07,910
He told me to watch out
for the place.

1306
01:13:08,016 --> 01:13:09,074
Well, I commend him
on his choice.

1307
01:13:09,784 --> 01:13:10,808
What?

1308
01:13:10,885 --> 01:13:12,876
I commend him on his choice.

1309
01:13:15,390 --> 01:13:17,654
I was supposed to meet
Mrs. Cavanaugh here.

1310
01:13:17,725 --> 01:13:18,885
Who are you?

1311
01:13:18,960 --> 01:13:21,861
I'm Don Corleone,
Mrs. Cavanaugh's cousin.

1312
01:13:23,298 --> 01:13:24,595
You know where she is?

1313
01:13:24,666 --> 01:13:25,860
Moved out.

1314
01:13:26,267 --> 01:13:27,598
Moved out?

1315
01:13:27,669 --> 01:13:28,966
(SCOFFING)

1316
01:13:29,404 --> 01:13:30,530
Isn't that something?

1317
01:13:30,605 --> 01:13:33,199
I just talked to her last week.
She didn't say a thing about it.

1318
01:13:33,274 --> 01:13:34,502
She moved out.

1319
01:13:34,576 --> 01:13:36,009
So you're saying she moved out.

1320
01:13:36,478 --> 01:13:37,536
This morning.

1321
01:13:37,612 --> 01:13:38,670
This morning?

1322
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:39,938
God!

1323
01:13:41,015 --> 01:13:42,414
We had so much to talk about.

1324
01:13:43,785 --> 01:13:45,685
You know, Mo Green is
out of the Tropicana now.

1325
01:13:45,753 --> 01:13:48,244
My sons, Mike and Fredo,
are taking over.

1326
01:13:48,323 --> 01:13:50,757
What did you want under the bed?

1327
01:13:55,063 --> 01:13:56,894
I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to pull rank on you.

1328
01:13:56,965 --> 01:13:58,296
I didn't want to
have to do this.

1329
01:13:58,466 --> 01:14:00,024
I'm with the mattress police.

1330
01:14:00,101 --> 01:14:02,126
There are no tags
on these mattresses.

1331
01:14:04,873 --> 01:14:06,534
I have to take you downtown.
Now, give me the weapon.

1332
01:14:06,608 --> 01:14:07,597
(COCKS GUN)

1333
01:14:08,009 --> 01:14:09,977
I'm calling the cops.

1334
01:14:10,044 --> 01:14:11,909
This is for the cops.

1335
01:14:11,980 --> 01:14:13,675
Come on, man, will you?
I'm her cousin.

1336
01:14:13,748 --> 01:14:15,238
Tell the cops.

1337
01:14:19,020 --> 01:14:22,478
Okay, you wanna call the cops?
Call the cops.

1338
01:14:23,691 --> 01:14:25,989
Better tie your shoelaces first.

1339
01:14:27,228 --> 01:14:29,594
(GRUNTS)

1340
01:14:43,645 --> 01:14:45,613
(TIRES SCREECHING)

1341
01:14:48,349 --> 01:14:49,577
Thanks a lot!

1342
01:14:58,593 --> 01:14:59,821
Hey, Stretch, what's happening?

1343
01:14:59,894 --> 01:15:01,418
<i>I got an unbelievable
story here.</i>

1344
01:15:01,496 --> 01:15:02,793
Yeah? Great.

1345
01:15:02,864 --> 01:15:03,922
What can I do?

1346
01:15:03,998 --> 01:15:05,295
<i>Write this down.
Sally Ann Cavanaugh.</i>

1347
01:15:05,366 --> 01:15:07,163
Sally Ann Cavanaugh.

1348
01:15:07,235 --> 01:15:08,759
Check every hotel in LA.

1349
01:15:08,937 --> 01:15:10,302
Start with the ones
near the airport.

1350
01:15:10,371 --> 01:15:12,464
He's supposed to leave the
country with her tomorrow night.

1351
01:15:12,540 --> 01:15:14,030
<i>Got that, honey?</i>

1352
01:15:14,108 --> 01:15:15,803
I love your body, Larry.

1353
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:33,354
(WHOOPS)

1354
01:15:33,795 --> 01:15:35,194
Good afternoon.

1355
01:15:35,830 --> 01:15:37,024
Howdy.

1356
01:15:38,299 --> 01:15:39,732
You know, they ought
to recall these things.

1357
01:15:39,801 --> 01:15:41,564
You hit one good bump
out here and, boom,

1358
01:15:41,903 --> 01:15:43,427
the whole rear window explodes.

1359
01:15:43,504 --> 01:15:45,597
Are you Mr. Marvin Stanwyk?
Yeah.

1360
01:15:45,673 --> 01:15:49,109
Hi there. I'm Harry S.
Truman from Casewell Insurance Underwriters.

1361
01:15:49,177 --> 01:15:50,542
Harry S. Truman?

1362
01:15:50,612 --> 01:15:53,877
Yeah, well, my were big fans
of the former president.

1363
01:15:53,948 --> 01:15:56,940
Isn't that nice?
He was a good man.

1364
01:15:57,018 --> 01:15:58,918
He sure was.
He showed the Japs a thing or two.

1365
01:15:58,987 --> 01:16:00,454
Oh, yeah, he dropped
the big one, huh?

1366
01:16:00,555 --> 01:16:02,420
He dropped two big ones on them.

1367
01:16:02,490 --> 01:16:04,424
He was a real fighter.
Yeah.

1368
01:16:04,492 --> 01:16:07,086
You in the insurance line,
Harry?

1369
01:16:07,161 --> 01:16:08,924
That's right.

1370
01:16:08,997 --> 01:16:10,464
Well, I'm fully covered.

1371
01:16:10,531 --> 01:16:12,522
Oh, I don't doubt it,
Mr. Stanwyk.

1372
01:16:12,600 --> 01:16:14,261
FLETCH: Actually,
my company is the sub-insurers

1373
01:16:14,335 --> 01:16:16,803
of the subsidiary carriers
of a policy

1374
01:16:16,871 --> 01:16:19,533
held by Alan Stanwyk,
who I believe is your son.

1375
01:16:19,607 --> 01:16:20,767
Yeah, he is.

1376
01:16:20,842 --> 01:16:21,831
(CHUCKLING)

1377
01:16:21,909 --> 01:16:23,570
Mr. Truman,
I want you to meet my wife, Velma.

1378
01:16:23,645 --> 01:16:24,669
Oh, my pleasure.

1379
01:16:24,746 --> 01:16:25,804
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

1380
01:16:25,880 --> 01:16:28,576
Come on up here and sit down,
have a glass of lemonade.

1381
01:16:28,650 --> 01:16:29,810
Thank you.

1382
01:16:29,884 --> 01:16:31,749
Velma makes
the most unusual lemonade.

1383
01:16:31,819 --> 01:16:32,877
Is that right?

1384
01:16:32,954 --> 01:16:36,253
It's kind of hard to keep
it cold on a day like this.

1385
01:16:37,325 --> 01:16:39,293
Where you from, Harry?

1386
01:16:39,827 --> 01:16:41,692
I'm from California.

1387
01:16:42,497 --> 01:16:43,930
San Berdoo.

1388
01:16:44,499 --> 01:16:47,366
Yeah. Utah is part
of my route.

1389
01:16:48,903 --> 01:16:53,033
Say, you folks don't mind if I ask
you a couple of questions, do you?

1390
01:16:53,107 --> 01:16:54,233
Shoot.

1391
01:16:54,308 --> 01:16:55,741
Thank you very much.

1392
01:16:55,810 --> 01:16:58,472
We'll just start with a
couple of the routine things.

1393
01:16:59,781 --> 01:17:02,944
You and your wife are currently
alive, I take it?

1394
01:17:04,152 --> 01:17:05,915
Harry, if there's...

1395
01:17:05,987 --> 01:17:07,284
It's just regulations.

1396
01:17:08,356 --> 01:17:09,345
Now,

1397
01:17:10,291 --> 01:17:12,350
you, Marvin,
and your wife named Velma...

1398
01:17:12,427 --> 01:17:13,451
Velma.

1399
01:17:13,528 --> 01:17:17,487
...are the parents of one
Alan Stanwyk of Beverly Hills,

1400
01:17:17,565 --> 01:17:19,226
Executive Vice President
of Boyd Aviation.

1401
01:17:19,300 --> 01:17:20,824
Check.
Check.

1402
01:17:21,636 --> 01:17:24,002
And when was the last time
you saw Alan?

1403
01:17:25,239 --> 01:17:28,572
Oh, about ten days ago.

1404
01:17:29,277 --> 01:17:30,767
Ten days ago?

1405
01:17:31,012 --> 01:17:34,209
Yeah, he comes and visits us
about every three weeks.

1406
01:17:35,650 --> 01:17:36,776
Isn't that nice?

1407
01:17:37,585 --> 01:17:39,075
How long has he been doing that?

1408
01:17:39,153 --> 01:17:41,018
Since he moved to LA.

1409
01:17:45,126 --> 01:17:49,028
Now, you'll pardon me
if I seem a bit personal here,

1410
01:17:49,097 --> 01:17:51,065
but I don't know how to put it.

1411
01:17:51,132 --> 01:17:56,297
We understand that there's a
young lady friend here in Provo

1412
01:17:56,370 --> 01:17:57,928
that Alan's been seeing.

1413
01:17:58,005 --> 01:18:00,371
What's this got to do
with insurance?

1414
01:18:00,441 --> 01:18:02,841
Oh, trust me, Marvin,
this is a comprehensive policy.

1415
01:18:02,910 --> 01:18:05,276
Well, you can forget about
that lady friend business.

1416
01:18:05,346 --> 01:18:08,247
Alan is the most loving
husband a girl could have.

1417
01:18:08,316 --> 01:18:10,910
He dotes on that bride of his.

1418
01:18:10,985 --> 01:18:11,974
Who?

1419
01:18:12,053 --> 01:18:13,384
His wife.

1420
01:18:14,789 --> 01:18:16,381
You've met her?

1421
01:18:17,191 --> 01:18:20,285
Well, of course we have.
He brings her with him.

1422
01:18:23,898 --> 01:18:27,265
Has Alan ever mentioned the
name Sally Ann Cavanaugh to you?

1423
01:18:27,969 --> 01:18:29,266
Has he?

1424
01:18:32,707 --> 01:18:36,040
Boy, what in the hell's
the matter with you?

1425
01:18:36,110 --> 01:18:37,134
He has, then?

1426
01:18:37,211 --> 01:18:38,508
Of course he has.

1427
01:18:38,579 --> 01:18:40,069
That's his wife.

1428
01:18:41,516 --> 01:18:42,608
Of course.

1429
01:18:42,984 --> 01:18:45,646
His wife's name is Sally
Ann Cavanaugh then. I...

1430
01:18:45,853 --> 01:18:47,514
Cute as a button.

1431
01:18:48,856 --> 01:18:50,756
You wouldn't happen to have a
picture of Alan and his bride,

1432
01:18:50,825 --> 01:18:51,917
would you, handy?

1433
01:18:51,993 --> 01:18:54,154
Oh, sure,
we've got lots of pictures.

1434
01:18:54,228 --> 01:18:56,355
Let me get you some.
Great.

1435
01:18:58,332 --> 01:19:00,095
Still married are they,
Alan and Sally Ann?

1436
01:19:00,168 --> 01:19:01,829
Yes, they are.

1437
01:19:01,903 --> 01:19:04,030
How long have they been
married, Marvin?

1438
01:19:04,105 --> 01:19:07,734
It was before he moved to LA.

1439
01:19:08,042 --> 01:19:09,270
Eight years April.

1440
01:19:09,544 --> 01:19:12,206
This keeps getting heavier
each year.

1441
01:19:13,214 --> 01:19:16,115
There we are.
There, there it is.

1442
01:19:16,184 --> 01:19:18,277
That's the one.
Oh, my goodness.

1443
01:19:18,352 --> 01:19:19,683
She is a button, isn't she?

1444
01:19:19,754 --> 01:19:21,654
Isn't she cute?

1445
01:19:22,123 --> 01:19:24,591
Say, could I borrow
this picture for a while?

1446
01:19:24,692 --> 01:19:25,989
I promise to send it back.

1447
01:19:26,060 --> 01:19:27,618
It's routine.
The actuarial people...

1448
01:19:27,695 --> 01:19:29,822
Oh, that's all right.
We have lots more.

1449
01:19:29,897 --> 01:19:31,091
Want to see the reception?

1450
01:19:31,165 --> 01:19:32,792
No, no, thank you.
I'm trying to quit.

1451
01:19:32,867 --> 01:19:35,199
Well, how about Marvin's
65th birthday party?

1452
01:19:35,269 --> 01:19:36,133
How about that, Marvin?

1453
01:19:36,804 --> 01:19:38,135
MARVIN: They got a picture
of me in here.

1454
01:19:38,206 --> 01:19:39,639
But they...
Remember how much you drank that day?

1455
01:19:39,941 --> 01:19:43,274
This is Alan? Son of a bitch!
I can't believe this!

1456
01:19:43,344 --> 01:19:45,608
It's really Alan,
and it's really bigamy.

1457
01:19:45,680 --> 01:19:47,238
How long have they been married?

1458
01:19:47,315 --> 01:19:48,714
About eight years.

1459
01:19:48,783 --> 01:19:50,341
Who is this woman?

1460
01:19:50,418 --> 01:19:54,047
I don't know, Gail,
I think it's Alan's high school sweetheart.

1461
01:19:54,622 --> 01:19:57,090
Her name is Sally Ann
something or other.

1462
01:19:57,291 --> 01:20:00,488
Alan's been keeping
a lot of things secret lately.

1463
01:20:00,928 --> 01:20:02,725
I'm gonna call the police.
No, no.

1464
01:20:02,797 --> 01:20:04,094
No, Gail, you can't do that.
Yes, I am.

1465
01:20:04,165 --> 01:20:05,291
And I'm calling my father.

1466
01:20:05,366 --> 01:20:07,493
Just give me one more day, okay?
Just one more day.

1467
01:20:07,568 --> 01:20:09,035
Why, what for?

1468
01:20:09,103 --> 01:20:11,264
Do you have any idea
how humiliating this is?

1469
01:20:11,339 --> 01:20:13,466
Yes, I do.
I really do.

1470
01:20:16,277 --> 01:20:17,608
Remember what I told you?

1471
01:20:17,745 --> 01:20:19,474
Tomorrow night you have
a club meeting.

1472
01:20:19,547 --> 01:20:22,812
You stay away from the house, all right?
I'll take care of him.

1473
01:20:22,884 --> 01:20:24,010
Don't worry about it.

1474
01:20:24,085 --> 01:20:25,211
She looks like a hooker.
Look at her.

1475
01:20:25,286 --> 01:20:28,153
Look at her. Could you love
someone who looked like that?

1476
01:20:28,222 --> 01:20:30,713
What are you talking about?
Of course not.

1477
01:20:31,559 --> 01:20:34,050
Five, ten minutes tops, maybe.

1478
01:20:35,429 --> 01:20:36,862
That's funny.

1479
01:20:39,133 --> 01:20:40,657
I know. Listen.

1480
01:20:41,869 --> 01:20:44,269
Why don't we both relax
and go in there and lie down

1481
01:20:44,639 --> 01:20:46,197
and I'll fill you in?

1482
01:20:49,076 --> 01:20:52,307
This is a really good time
to make a pass at me.

1483
01:21:21,842 --> 01:21:23,002
Gum?

1484
01:21:23,077 --> 01:21:25,307
Who? Go somewhere else.

1485
01:21:25,379 --> 01:21:26,903
Gum, it's me.

1486
01:21:28,950 --> 01:21:30,975
Fletch. Really, is that you?

1487
01:21:31,052 --> 01:21:32,076
Don't say "Fletch."
Don't say my name.

1488
01:21:32,153 --> 01:21:33,347
Shut up.
Okay.

1489
01:21:33,421 --> 01:21:35,480
Don't look at me, lay back.
I gotta talk to you, all right?

1490
01:21:35,556 --> 01:21:37,615
All right, all right.
About what?

1491
01:21:39,460 --> 01:21:41,690
There're cops all around here,
and they're after me.

1492
01:21:41,762 --> 01:21:43,787
What? You mean those surfers
over there?

1493
01:21:43,864 --> 01:21:45,024
Just lay back down.

1494
01:21:45,099 --> 01:21:46,361
Don't point.
Just lay back, all right?

1495
01:21:46,434 --> 01:21:47,765
Okay, okay.

1496
01:21:47,835 --> 01:21:49,200
Fletch, why they after you?

1497
01:21:49,270 --> 01:21:51,295
They're after me because
I'm a newspaper reporter.

1498
01:21:51,372 --> 01:21:55,069
And I'm nailing Chief Karlin as the
major drug source on this beach.

1499
01:21:56,644 --> 01:21:57,906
Sit back.

1500
01:21:59,880 --> 01:22:02,906
Fat Sam's turning
state's evidence.

1501
01:22:02,984 --> 01:22:04,474
What's that?

1502
01:22:05,686 --> 01:22:07,119
He wrote me
a very nice deposition.

1503
01:22:07,188 --> 01:22:09,850
He says he just received the
drugs and you did all the selling.

1504
01:22:09,924 --> 01:22:13,291
He said what?
Fletch, he's lying.

1505
01:22:13,361 --> 01:22:15,454
Man, honest, Fletch.
I didn't sell nothing, man.

1506
01:22:15,529 --> 01:22:17,156
You gotta believe me.
I didn't sell anything.

1507
01:22:17,231 --> 01:22:19,563
I just carried the drugs from
the Chief to Sam. That's it.

1508
01:22:19,633 --> 01:22:21,157
Sure you did.
Sure you did, Gum.

1509
01:22:21,235 --> 01:22:22,998
Fletch, Fletch, honest, man.
That's all I did.

1510
01:22:23,070 --> 01:22:25,766
Twenty years, Gum,
twenty years in prison.

1511
01:22:25,840 --> 01:22:27,034
Unless you want to play ball.

1512
01:22:31,779 --> 01:22:34,407
You don't leave me much
of a choice, I guess.

1513
01:22:38,152 --> 01:22:39,915
Fletch, you all right?
Yeah, I'm all right.

1514
01:22:39,987 --> 01:22:41,386
These robes...

1515
01:22:41,956 --> 01:22:43,355
I got another question for you.

1516
01:22:43,591 --> 01:22:45,218
Where does the Chief
get his drugs from?

1517
01:22:46,694 --> 01:22:47,991
I don't know.

1518
01:22:49,430 --> 01:22:51,990
Have fun. Don't bend over
for the soap.

1519
01:22:52,066 --> 01:22:53,931
Fletch. Fletch, okay, okay.

1520
01:22:56,137 --> 01:22:58,367
It's somewhere in South America.

1521
01:23:03,544 --> 01:23:05,409
Mind if I sit here?

1522
01:23:05,479 --> 01:23:07,140
Fletch? Man.

1523
01:23:08,182 --> 01:23:09,444
You don't know me, Sam.

1524
01:23:09,517 --> 01:23:11,144
My pleasure, brother.

1525
01:23:11,218 --> 01:23:13,015
I'm a reporter, Sam.

1526
01:23:13,087 --> 01:23:16,648
I'm breaking the story on
the drug traffic around here.

1527
01:23:16,724 --> 01:23:18,988
Gummy's turning
state's evidence.

1528
01:23:19,060 --> 01:23:21,085
I got good proof it's the Chief.

1529
01:23:21,162 --> 01:23:22,823
You gonna bust the Chief?

1530
01:23:22,897 --> 01:23:24,421
I'm gonna bust the Chief.

1531
01:23:27,001 --> 01:23:28,935
I could use your help.

1532
01:23:31,806 --> 01:23:34,707
I'm a slave
to that son of a bitch.

1533
01:23:34,775 --> 01:23:36,970
He busted me, third offense.

1534
01:23:37,044 --> 01:23:39,535
Gave me my choice,
push for him or do 15 long.

1535
01:23:39,613 --> 01:23:41,672
Now, all I get out of this
is free junk.

1536
01:23:41,749 --> 01:23:43,080
You don't have a piece
of the action?

1537
01:23:43,150 --> 01:23:44,777
No. Free junk, that's it.

1538
01:23:50,324 --> 01:23:52,349
Hey, how you doing?

1539
01:23:52,426 --> 01:23:55,395
Albert Einstein's forehead.
You like it? I won it in a raffle.

1540
01:23:55,463 --> 01:23:57,954
Excuse me.
Fellows, stay with me, will you?

1541
01:23:58,265 --> 01:23:59,527
Fletch?

1542
01:24:01,302 --> 01:24:02,360
What's up? What's up?

1543
01:24:02,436 --> 01:24:03,562
I'm quitting
as of midnight tonight.

1544
01:24:03,637 --> 01:24:04,695
Who are these guys?

1545
01:24:04,772 --> 01:24:07,434
This is Fat Sam and this is Gummy.
Fellows, come with me.

1546
01:24:07,508 --> 01:24:09,635
These are their statements
naming Chief Karlin

1547
01:24:09,710 --> 01:24:12,178
as the number-one drug pusher
from here to Oxnard.

1548
01:24:12,246 --> 01:24:14,544
I want them to have federal
protection sponsored by the paper.

1549
01:24:14,615 --> 01:24:15,707
Is that okay, Frank?

1550
01:24:15,783 --> 01:24:17,148
FLETCH: Sit down in there,
anywhere you...

1551
01:24:17,218 --> 01:24:19,311
That's good.
Make yourselves comfortable.

1552
01:24:19,720 --> 01:24:20,880
This is wonderful.
This is...

1553
01:24:20,955 --> 01:24:21,979
I'm out, Frank.

1554
01:24:22,056 --> 01:24:23,455
You lost faith in me.

1555
01:24:23,524 --> 01:24:25,048
Fletch, I got nervous.
Come on.

1556
01:24:25,126 --> 01:24:27,458
Forget it.
I'm writing the story.

1557
01:24:27,528 --> 01:24:29,792
Just hold the last two
paragraphs till 10:00, okay?

1558
01:24:30,331 --> 01:24:32,231
You want an apology?

1559
01:24:32,533 --> 01:24:34,057
You were going to can me, right?

1560
01:24:34,135 --> 01:24:35,193
No, not really.

1561
01:24:35,269 --> 01:24:36,634
Not really?

1562
01:24:36,704 --> 01:24:38,399
I was upset. You know.

1563
01:24:41,442 --> 01:24:42,431
Okay.

1564
01:24:42,877 --> 01:24:45,345
Jesus, I'm sick
of this place. Ow.

1565
01:24:46,480 --> 01:24:49,813
I'm gonna try out for the Lakers.
They need a good power forward.

1566
01:24:49,884 --> 01:24:52,079
Fletch, this is
a hell of a story.

1567
01:24:52,153 --> 01:24:53,211
Thanks.

1568
01:24:53,287 --> 01:24:54,345
Now, about these guys...

1569
01:24:54,421 --> 01:24:55,888
Don't worry about them.
They're just fine.

1570
01:24:55,956 --> 01:24:58,823
You don't have any valuables in
there, Vicki Morgan tapes or anything?

1571
01:25:52,079 --> 01:25:53,410
(EXCLAIMING)

1572
01:27:15,729 --> 01:27:17,253
ALAN: Good evening.

1573
01:27:24,004 --> 01:27:25,767
I like your outfit.

1574
01:27:26,707 --> 01:27:28,334
Did you bring the 50 grand
and the tickets?

1575
01:27:28,409 --> 01:27:29,876
Of course.

1576
01:27:30,577 --> 01:27:33,705
Oh, oh, oh.
You forgot your rubber gloves.

1577
01:27:34,481 --> 01:27:36,972
You're planning on killing me,
aren't you?

1578
01:27:38,585 --> 01:27:41,053
You catch on real quick,
Mr. Nugent.

1579
01:27:41,121 --> 01:27:43,316
That's a pretty hostile thing
to do, don't you think?

1580
01:27:43,390 --> 01:27:47,520
Well, you were gonna kill me.
I look at this simply as self-defense.

1581
01:27:47,594 --> 01:27:51,621
Now, if you would be so kind as
to put your passport on my desk.

1582
01:27:55,836 --> 01:27:58,862
You're wearing my suit.
Where did you get that?

1583
01:27:59,873 --> 01:28:02,899
I said, where did you get my
suit, Mr. Nugent?

1584
01:28:02,976 --> 01:28:05,945
The name's Fletcher.
I'm a newspaper reporter.

1585
01:28:06,013 --> 01:28:07,981
I write a column
under the name of Jane Doe.

1586
01:28:08,048 --> 01:28:09,572
What the hell is this?

1587
01:28:10,217 --> 01:28:11,411
Read this.

1588
01:28:11,485 --> 01:28:12,713
Look, I don't have time
for your nonsense.

1589
01:28:12,786 --> 01:28:14,151
Cut the crap.

1590
01:28:14,221 --> 01:28:17,247
Come downstairs and read this.
I'm not going anywhere.

1591
01:28:29,570 --> 01:28:33,267
Unless my people hear differently,
that letter goes out at midnight.

1592
01:28:41,448 --> 01:28:45,077
"Dear Mr. Boyd,
Alan Stanwyk murdered me tonight."

1593
01:28:48,589 --> 01:28:52,616
"Charred remains found by the police
in the Jaguar are mine, not his."

1594
01:28:52,693 --> 01:28:56,629
"Mr. Stanwyk, using my name and
passport, boarded Pan Am Flight 306."

1595
01:28:56,697 --> 01:28:57,959
"On arrival, he intends
to establish..."

1596
01:28:58,031 --> 01:28:59,862
Pretty hefty.

1597
01:29:01,201 --> 01:29:02,691
Keep reading.

1598
01:29:03,504 --> 01:29:07,167
"...with his legal wife,
the former Sally Ann Cavanaugh..."

1599
01:29:07,875 --> 01:29:09,536
Don't stop, Alan.

1600
01:29:14,481 --> 01:29:16,073
Uh-oh, the missus.

1601
01:29:16,150 --> 01:29:17,208
What are you doing here?

1602
01:29:17,284 --> 01:29:20,845
I already know most of it.
I just want to hear the rest from you.

1603
01:29:21,121 --> 01:29:24,488
He doesn't read my stuff very well.
Let me take a crack at it.

1604
01:29:25,058 --> 01:29:28,255
"Sally Ann and Alan were
married eight years ago,"

1605
01:29:30,431 --> 01:29:33,923
"never divorced, making Stanwyk a
bigamist, even in Utah."

1606
01:29:34,468 --> 01:29:37,164
"Stanwyk is also traveling
with $3 million in cash,"

1607
01:29:37,237 --> 01:29:41,230
"the result of Gail Stanwyk's
conversion of Boyd Aviation stock."

1608
01:29:45,646 --> 01:29:47,477
It's true, isn't it?

1609
01:29:48,182 --> 01:29:49,774
"Sally Ann can confirm all this"

1610
01:29:49,850 --> 01:29:51,681
"when the police pick her up
at the Airport Marriott."

1611
01:29:51,752 --> 01:29:53,686
That's where she is, isn't it?

1612
01:29:55,289 --> 01:29:58,554
"By the way,
Alan is a very big drug smuggler."

1613
01:29:58,625 --> 01:30:02,254
"But you can read all about
that in tomorrow's paper."

1614
01:30:02,329 --> 01:30:05,059
"Sincerely, I.M. Fletcher.
PS, Have a nice day."

1615
01:30:05,632 --> 01:30:08,157
Bravo, Mr. Fletcher. Bravo.

1616
01:30:08,235 --> 01:30:10,169
You know, what tipped it for
me was something your wife said

1617
01:30:10,237 --> 01:30:11,898
while we were in bed together.

1618
01:30:16,076 --> 01:30:19,512
Oh? And what was that?

1619
01:30:19,580 --> 01:30:22,845
Curiously, she said
we had roughly the same build.

1620
01:30:22,916 --> 01:30:24,941
From the waist up, I imagine.

1621
01:30:27,287 --> 01:30:29,152
Then I figured it.

1622
01:30:29,223 --> 01:30:32,784
You bump me off,
plop me in the car and burn me up.

1623
01:30:35,829 --> 01:30:37,490
What the heck,
same bone structure.

1624
01:30:37,564 --> 01:30:39,361
You son of a bitch.

1625
01:30:39,433 --> 01:30:41,230
But I'm not a stupid
son of a bitch.

1626
01:30:42,002 --> 01:30:44,800
I was already prepared to
commit one murder, ass face.

1627
01:30:44,872 --> 01:30:48,137
What makes you think
I won't commit two, huh?

1628
01:30:48,208 --> 01:30:49,266
Whoops.

1629
01:30:49,343 --> 01:30:51,277
"Whoops." What do you mean, "Whoops"?
Don't say "Whoops."

1630
01:30:51,345 --> 01:30:54,109
I mean, by the time your story's
published, I'll be on the beach.

1631
01:30:54,181 --> 01:30:57,617
And I understand extradition from
South America is very complicated.

1632
01:30:57,684 --> 01:31:00,209
I'll bet for two murders,
it's even more so.

1633
01:31:00,787 --> 01:31:02,516
That thing loaded?

1634
01:31:03,357 --> 01:31:07,054
If you shoot me, you're liable to lose
a lot of those humanitarian awards.

1635
01:31:07,127 --> 01:31:08,685
Tough shit, Hopalong.

1636
01:31:08,762 --> 01:31:10,457
KARLIN: Greetings, everyone.

1637
01:31:11,798 --> 01:31:13,663
Thank God, the police.

1638
01:31:14,301 --> 01:31:16,292
Jesus, what in the hell
are you doing here?

1639
01:31:16,370 --> 01:31:18,998
Put the gun down, Alan.
I can take care of them.

1640
01:31:19,072 --> 01:31:22,200
I thought you had this all figured out.
Nice going, Irwin.

1641
01:31:22,509 --> 01:31:24,409
Don't ever call me Irwin, okay?

1642
01:31:24,478 --> 01:31:27,345
Fat Sam left the beach today.
So had Gummy.

1643
01:31:27,714 --> 01:31:28,772
It began to occur to me

1644
01:31:28,849 --> 01:31:32,376
that maybe there's some things happening
here that I should become aware of.

1645
01:31:32,452 --> 01:31:34,716
Look, I said I'll take care of this.
Now, it doesn't involve you.

1646
01:31:34,788 --> 01:31:35,846
Now, go on home.

1647
01:31:35,923 --> 01:31:37,823
I'll call you tomorrow.
What? Long distance?

1648
01:31:37,891 --> 01:31:39,381
Couldn't help but overhear
you say something

1649
01:31:39,459 --> 01:31:40,687
about South American
extradition.

1650
01:31:40,761 --> 01:31:41,785
Jerry.

1651
01:31:41,862 --> 01:31:44,023
Alan, you're not planning
on taking that $800,000

1652
01:31:44,097 --> 01:31:46,065
I staked you with
for the next load, are you?

1653
01:31:46,133 --> 01:31:47,930
Looks like you two
have a lot to talk over.

1654
01:31:48,001 --> 01:31:50,299
We'll just catch the last
ten minutes of Dynasty.

1655
01:31:51,471 --> 01:31:53,302
Jerry, come on, now.
You're gonna have to trust me!

1656
01:31:53,373 --> 01:31:55,204
I got a foolproof way
to get rid of this asshole,

1657
01:31:55,275 --> 01:31:56,674
and you're jeopardizing
everything!

1658
01:31:56,743 --> 01:31:59,007
Your foolproof way is gonna
land my butt on the front page

1659
01:31:59,079 --> 01:32:00,671
while you're basking in the sun!

1660
01:32:00,747 --> 01:32:01,941
With your money.

1661
01:32:02,049 --> 01:32:04,108
(GAIL SCREAMING)

1662
01:32:18,065 --> 01:32:20,363
The second one's gonna be
even more fun.

1663
01:32:20,434 --> 01:32:22,459
Go ahead, make my day.

1664
01:32:25,772 --> 01:32:26,761
<font color="

1665
01:32:47,995 --> 01:32:49,189
Thanks.

1666
01:32:50,597 --> 01:32:52,292
FRANK:
No, this is getting absurd.

1667
01:32:52,366 --> 01:32:54,664
"One Bob Haldeman wig,
a gorilla suit."

1668
01:32:54,735 --> 01:32:56,032
That's a gibbon suit.

1669
01:32:56,103 --> 01:32:58,663
"Tennis shorts, leather
sneakers, wrist bands."

1670
01:32:58,739 --> 01:33:00,536
It's business, Frank.
Believe me, I hate tennis.

1671
01:33:00,607 --> 01:33:01,733
What's novelty teeth?

1672
01:33:01,808 --> 01:33:04,709
Frank, it's all business.
Frank, it's all business!

1673
01:33:04,978 --> 01:33:07,139
"A nun's habit.
Six tubes of Crazy Glue."

1674
01:33:07,214 --> 01:33:08,806
Oh, that's personal.

1675
01:33:08,882 --> 01:33:10,110
Right, take it out of my raise.

1676
01:33:10,183 --> 01:33:12,413
You're not getting a raise.
Did I say... Come on.

1677
01:33:12,486 --> 01:33:15,887
I would think the DA would need
these tickets for evidence.

1678
01:33:15,956 --> 01:33:17,617
Not necessarily.

1679
01:33:17,691 --> 01:33:19,659
Not necessarily?
Larry!

1680
01:33:21,428 --> 01:33:23,828
In the court ruling
US vs. Fishbein,

1681
01:33:23,897 --> 01:33:26,388
a man subjected
to potential incineration

1682
01:33:26,500 --> 01:33:27,797
while wearing another man's suit

1683
01:33:28,268 --> 01:33:31,328
is entitled to $10,000
worth of airline tickets.

1684
01:33:31,405 --> 01:33:34,670
It's an obscure ruling but
a very important one to me.

1685
01:33:34,741 --> 01:33:38,233
Why don't you just say that you
want to take me to Rio with you?

1686
01:33:38,311 --> 01:33:41,644
There's a different slant.

1687
01:33:43,583 --> 01:33:45,983
The thing is, see,
we haven't really dated formally.

1688
01:33:46,053 --> 01:33:48,317
I always take my first dates
to a Laker game.

1689
01:33:48,388 --> 01:33:49,980
I don't want to go
to a Laker game.

1690
01:33:50,057 --> 01:33:51,046
(INAUDIBLE)

1691
01:33:51,324 --> 01:33:53,053
I don't like basketball.

1692
01:33:53,126 --> 01:33:55,617
Maybe that's because you
don't understand basketball.

1693
01:33:55,696 --> 01:33:58,426
You haven't been schooled in
the fundamentals. Pick and roll.

1694
01:33:58,498 --> 01:34:00,056
Sounds like a fast-food chain.

1695
01:34:00,133 --> 01:34:01,998
Reverse stuff.
That I've done.

1696
01:34:02,069 --> 01:34:04,299
I'll bet you have,
you little vixen.

1697
01:34:04,371 --> 01:34:08,808
<i>FLETCH: The coroner had certified
Stanwyk dead or extremely sleepy.</i>

1698
01:34:08,875 --> 01:34:12,538
<i>And Chief Karlin was facing
20 years in the fun house.</i>

1699
01:34:12,612 --> 01:34:14,603
<i>I decided to accompany
Gail to Rio</i>

1700
01:34:14,681 --> 01:34:17,411
<i>and personally assist her
in her grief therapy.</i>

1701
01:34:17,484 --> 01:34:19,281
<i>On the beach,
I explained basketball to her,</i>

1702
01:34:19,352 --> 01:34:21,115
<i>but she didn't seem to grasp it.</i>

1703
01:34:21,188 --> 01:34:23,315
Fletch?
Call me Irwin.

1704
01:34:26,660 --> 01:34:28,753
Why do they have to bounce
the ball the whole time?

1705
01:34:28,829 --> 01:34:31,525
I mean, doesn't it seem
a little childish to you?

1706
01:34:31,598 --> 01:34:34,032
Well, it may seem that,
but that's called dribbling.

1707
01:34:34,101 --> 01:34:35,534
Dribbling?

1708
01:34:35,602 --> 01:34:36,762
If they don't keep
bouncing the ball,

1709
01:34:36,837 --> 01:34:38,270
they get called for traveling.

1710
01:34:38,338 --> 01:34:40,499
Traveling. Oh.

1711
01:34:40,574 --> 01:34:42,838
Yeah, that's what they call it
when you don't bounce the ball.

1712
01:34:42,909 --> 01:34:45,673
<i>FLETCH: When it came to
basketball, Gail was a loss.</i>

1713
01:34:45,746 --> 01:34:47,407
<i>But we had our own version
of one-on-one,</i>

1714
01:34:47,481 --> 01:34:49,278
<i>and she thought I was
the bravest man in the world,</i>

1715
01:34:49,349 --> 01:34:51,112
<i>which, of course, I am.</i>

1716
01:34:51,451 --> 01:34:53,351
<i>By the way, I charged
the entire vacation</i>

1717
01:34:53,420 --> 01:34:55,183
<i>to Mr. Underhill's
American Express card.</i>

1718
01:34:55,255 --> 01:34:56,620
<i>Want the number?</i>